Page 38 of Body and Soul

Sympathy mixed with possessiveness surged in me. The thought of Eli beneath me sent a bolt of heat through my groin,but I suppressed the urge. Our dynamic couldn’t be about sex—not yet. Eli needed to learn to value himself apart from his body.

“I understand you have physical needs,” I said seriously. “But mixing sex with our dynamic isn’t wise right now.”

Eli’s face fell, shoulders hunching as if bracing for a blow. “So you don’t want me like that,” he said flatly.

“I didn’t say that. I said not yet.” I held his gaze, willing him to understand. “This isn’t rejection. I want you to listen. You are incredibly attractive, and I’m drawn to you. But right now, you need to separate your self-worth from your sexuality.”

Eli frowned, confusion knitting his brow. “What do you mean?”

“For too long, you’ve used sex to self-harm, letting people use your body as punishment. Introducing a sexual element now might reinforce that pattern.”

His eyes widened, tears glistening. “I... never thought about it like that.”

“I know,” I said gently. “You’re learning. But trust me. I’m not rejecting you; I’m helping you see your value beyond your body.”

A single tear fell, tracking down his cheek. I brushed it away, my thumb lingering too long. Eli froze, breath catching but not pulling away. The air between us thickened with unspoken tension.

“I’m trying to help you,” I said, voice low. He met my gaze, wide and uncertain. The air felt charged.

But clarity was needed, and I wouldn’t let anything happen without terms.

“Come with me,” I said, stepping back to break the tension.

He hesitated before following me down the hall into my office. I switched on the desk lamp, casting a soft glow over the polished surface.

I sat at my desk and motioned for him to take the chair beside me. “Before we go any further, we need to go over the contract.At the end, you can decide to sign it or not and we’ll go from there.”

Eli sat slowly, glancing around before taking the tablet I offered. I got out my own and logged into a blank contract template, sharing it between our screens.

“Let’s go through it together,” I said, and Eli nodded.

This contract outlines theagreed-upon terms of a service-based Dominant/submissive relationship between Shepherd Laskin (herein: Sir) and Elias Baker (herein: boy).

I stared at the words on the screen, reading them over and over, trying to process the strange feeling that shot through me each time. Excitement, worry, and relief were all there, battling within me. I couldn't shake the thought that this was more than just a contract; it felt like a map to a new reality, one where I was finally seen and valued.

I sat in Shepherd's dimly lit home office, my heart racing. Dark wood paneling surrounded shelves crammed with leather-bound psychology books. An antique globe stood in one corner, a silent witness to our exchange.

My fingers trembled as I scrolled through the lengthy document, the tablet feeling both alien and familiar in my grip. The words blurred as my heart raced—each line igniting a whirlwind of anticipation and anxiety in my chest. Each section detailed expectations, boundaries, and limits, but there werestill places that needed filling in. The formality was dizzying, a far cry from the rough encounters I'd had before.

Shepherd sat beside me, a copy of the contract open on his tablet. “Let’s start at the top,” he suggested. “Roles and Responsibilities,” Shepherd read aloud. “I agree to respect your limits and boundaries at all times. I will provide guidance and tasks for you to fulfill as part of your service. I will also ensure your physical and emotional safety throughout our relationship. Additionally, I’ll support your basic financial needs, providing a monthly allowance of twelve hundred dollars.”

My breath hitched as the magnitude of Shepherd's offer sank in. Twelve hundred dollars a month, without having to pay for food, rent, or utilities? The weight of it crushed down on me, a sum far beyond my meager McHappy’s paycheck—a lifeline thrown into the depths of my uncertainty. I had always struggled to make ends meet, and now someone wanted to take care of me?Someone pinch me, I must be dreaming.

“I... I don't know what to say,” I managed, my voice barely a whisper. “That's generous of you.”

Shepherd's dark eyes met mine, intense and unwavering. “You deserve to be taken care of, Elias. In every way. I want to provide that for you, if you'll let me.”

I nodded slowly, a lump forming in my throat. No one had ever wanted to take care of me like this. It was overwhelming, terrifying, and exhilarating all at once.

“Thank you,” I said softly, meaning it with every fiber of my being.

“Now, shall we continue?” Shepherd asked.

I took a deep breath and focused on the tablet. “Submissive's Responsibilities,” I read aloud. “I agree to serve the Dominant—”

“Sir,” he cut in. “Replace any appearance of that when reading aloud with Sir.”

I swallowed and cleared my throat. “I agree to serve Sir to the best of my ability, performing tasks respectfully and communicating openly about any discomfort. I will follow the rules set by Sir, respecting his authority while maintaining personal agency.”

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