Page 129 of Body and Soul

“Yeah, okay,” I said at last, my voice still raw from crying. “Spicy noodles sound good.”

Keres's eyes softened as he took in my red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. He reached out slowly, giving me time to pull away, and gently brushed away the lingering wetness with his gloved thumb. The leather was cool and smooth against my flushed skin.

He said nothing, but stood there, looking down at me for a moment with a strange sadness in his expression, one that didn’t belong on Keres’s face.

I let out a shuddering breath as Keres's gloved fingers lingered on my cheek.

After a moment, he let his hand fall away and stepped back. “I'll order the food. You should try to get some rest.”

I nodded numbly, not trusting my voice. Keres studied me for a beat longer before turning and heading down the hall. I watched him go, my heart a leaden weight in my chest.

Closing the door, I leaned my forehead against the cool wood and tried to gather myself. My mind felt like a war zone, a thousand conflicting thoughts and emotions battling for dominance. Fear, revulsion, confusion, longing. They crashed through me in relentless waves until I thought I might drown.

Sucking in a harsh breath, I pushed off the door and staggered toward the bed. I collapsed onto the mattress, not even bothering to take off my shoes. Every bone in my body felt weary, every muscle ached with exhaustion. I thought sleep would be elusive given the horrific events of the day, but it claimed me quickly.

I woke sometime later to the chorus of “O Holy Night”. Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I ran a hand through my sleep-mussed hair. My whole body felt heavy, wrung out, like I'd run an emotional gauntlet. In a way, I supposed I had. Loving Keres, really loving him, meant accepting the darkest parts of his fractured psyche. It meant staring into the abyss of his sins and not flinching away.

I still wasn't sure I was strong enough for that. But I knew with bone-deep certainty that I had to try. For him, for us, I would walk through the flames of Hell itself.

Steeling myself, I got up and made my way out of the guest room. The apartment was quiet, the only sound the faint strainsof Christmas carols drifting from somewhere. I followed the music to the living room and stopped short at the sight that greeted me.

The room had been transformed by the addition of twinkling lights up on the walls, on the tree… everywhere they’d fit. The air smelled like garlic and chili peppers thanks to the wide spread of Chinese food being laid out on the table.

But it was the figure standing by the tree that made my breath catch. For a moment, I thought it was Keres. But as I drew closer, I realized it was Bryce. He wore a soft-looking red sweater and dark jeans, his feet bare against the hardwood floor. His hair was tousled, as if he'd been running his hands through it, and his expression held a vulnerability I'd never seen on Keres's face.

He turned as I approached, his eyes widening slightly. “Eli! Oh, sorry. Did the music wake you?”

I shrugged, suddenly feeling awkward. It was strange, interacting with Bryce when my last conversation had been with Keres. They shared the same body, but they were such distinctly different people.

“It’s fine. I needed to get up, anyway.”

I looked around the transformed living room, taking in all the festive details. The coffee table had been pushed aside to make room for a large, plush blanket spread out on the floor, piled with velvet throw pillows in rich jewel tones.

“Merry Christmas,” Bryce said, almost shyly.

“Merry Christmas, Bryce."

He ducked his head, looking pleased. “I might’ve gone a little overboard when I ordered food, though.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t you always?”

Bryce smiled and, just like that, somehow I knew we were going to be okay.

“We should probably eat before the food gets cold.” He gestured to the impressive spread on the table. My mouthwatered at the sight of kung pao chicken glistening with chilis, dan dan noodles topped with crispy pork, steaming rice dotted with scallions, a colorful array of stir-fried vegetables.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak around the lump in my throat. We settled cross-legged on the blanket, the plush fabric soft beneath my hands. Bryce handed me a pair of chopsticks and I dove in, loading my plate with a bit of everything before shoving a big bite of kung pao chicken into my mouth. I closed my eyes and hummed in pure bliss.

“Good?” Bryce asked, amusement lacing his tone.

“Mmmph,” I mumbled around a mouthful of food.

I slurped down noodles and shoveled rice into my mouth, too hungry to bother with any pretense of table manners. Bryce didn't seem to mind. He watched me with a soft, fond look that made warmth bloom in my chest.

Bryce's smile fell, and he suddenly jumped up, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “Oh! I almost forgot. Hold on a sec.”

He dashed out of the room, leaving me blinking in surprise. Before I could even begin to wonder what he was up to, he returned, his arms laden with brightly wrapped packages.

He set the presents down on the blanket, an adorably sheepish grin on his face. I shook my head, trying to muster up some exasperation, but I couldn't stop the answering smile tugging at my lips.

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