Page 128 of Body and Soul

“I mean it,” I said. “If you want me by your side, then I need to be your partner in every sense of the word. Including this.”

“Eli, you don't know what you're asking,” he said, his voice strained. “The things I've done, the rituals, the hunts... it's not a world I ever wanted to bring you into. I wanted you to stay pure and good. To bebetter.”

“But it's a part of you,” I insisted, squeezing his hand. “And I want all of you, Keres. The good, the bad, and the monstrous. If we truly belong to each other, body and soul, then you have to let me help carry the weight of your sins. I can’t do that if I’m not your equal in every way. My submission means nothing if we don’t start standing on the same ground.”

Keres's eyes searched mine, and I saw fear there. But beneath that fear was a glimmer of hope, of longing. He wanted to believe that I could accept him, all of him, even as he feared it was impossible.

“You're asking me to corrupt you,” he said at last, his voice hoarse. “To drag you down into my personal hell.”

“No, I'm asking you to let me walk through hell by your side.”

He closed his eyes, his jaw clenching. I could practically hear the war raging inside him, the part that wanted to protect me battling against the part that craved my acceptance like a drug. When he opened his eyes again, they were blazing with a terrifying mix of hunger and determination. He brought our joined hands to his lips, pressing a fierce kiss to my knuckles.

“Then walk through hell at my side, little rabbit,” he growled against my skin. “And may God have mercy on us both.”

I surged forward, capturing Keres's lips in a searing kiss. He met me with equal ferocity, his free hand fisting in my hair as he claimed my mouth. It was less of a kiss and more of a collision, a pact sealed in the slide of tongues and the sting of teeth.

We pulled apart when someone cleared their throat in the doorway. I looked up and sheepishly met the glare of Shepherd’s blond older brother.

“I take it you two have worked things out?” he said flatly.

Keres rose fluidly to his feet, tugging me up with him.

“We have,” Keres said, his voice steady even as his grip on my hand tightened.

A tense silence stretched between the two brothers, a silent battle of wills. After a long moment, the door opened wider and the other brother shoved his way in. “Are we killing him or what?”

“Not today, River,” Warrick said.

“Oh.” River looked me up and down before grabbing a mop from a nearby closet and pushing it into my hands. “Well, since you’re not dying, you can help with the clean up. That guy was a fucking bleeder. I’m going to call Mom and tell her we’ll be late to open presents. She’s gonna be pissed.”

Warrick sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and looked at me with the mop in my hand. “Welcome to the family, kid.”

I was invited toChristmas at the Laskin house in Liar’s Corner, but I politely declined. After the last twenty-four hours, I was exhausted and not in the right frame of mind to meet people, let alone the family of my…Whatever Shepherd and all his alters were to me.

Part of me wanted to go to Cherry’s and crash, but I didn’t think Keres would let me out of his sight. Not after the tense moment we’d just had. He was acting as possessive and protective as ever.

There were times when I found those things endearing about him. That day, however, they were smothering. As soon as we made it back to Shepherd’s apartment, I went straight to my room, closed the door, and locked it. I put my back to the door and slid down it, clutching my knees to my chest.

Everything Keres had told me, the dark secrets he'd revealed, kept playing over and over in my mind. I knew I should be disgusted, horrified. I should want to run screaming from this place and never look back.

But I didn't. Even now, with the full knowledge of what Keres was, what he'd done, I still wanted him. Wanted Shepherd. Wanted them both. Did that make me as much of a monster as Keres? Or just a fool blinded by devotion?

I didn't know anymore. All I knew was that walking away from them would be like tearing out a vital organ. He'd become so deeply embedded under my skin, in my heart, my soul. The jagged pieces of me recognized the matching broken shards of him. Leaving him would be like losing half of myself.

Silent tears tracked down my face as I wrestled with the choice I'd made. To fully accept Keres, darkness and all. To stand by his side come hell or high water. It was a vow that I knew would change me, one that I could never come back from. By loving a monster, I was choosing to become one myself.

I don't know how long I sat there, my mind chasing itself in circles, before a soft knock sounded at the door. I hastily wiped at my face and cleared my throat.

“Yeah?” I called, my voice tight.

“Are you hungry?”

Slowly, I got up and opened the door. Keres waited on the other side. I knew it was him because he’d put on his gloves.

“There’s a Chinese place uptown that’s still open,” he continued. “Bryce said they have good spicy noodles.”

I stared at Keres for a long moment, trying to gather my scattered thoughts. The mention of food made my stomach rumble.

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