Page 100 of Body and Soul

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line. “Not since yesterday. Is everything alright?”

“No,” I bit out, my free hand clenching into a fist at my side. “Everything is not alright. Eli is missing.”

Another pause, longer this time. When Gavin spoke again, there was a note of concern in his usually stoic tone. “Missing? Are you certain? Perhaps he merely stepped out for a moment...”

“He's not here, Gavin,” I snapped, my tenuous grip on my temper fraying. I could feel Keres pacing in the back of my mind like a caged beast, his fury a living, breathing thing. “His bed is empty. His phone goes straight to voicemail. He's gone. He’s left me.”

The words tasted bitter on my tongue, sharp and acrid like ashes. The thought of Eli leaving, of him abandoning me, abandoning us, was enough to steal the breath from my lungs. A wave of despair crashed over me, so strong it nearly brought me to my knees. I braced my hand against the wall, my head bowed as I fought to maintain my composure.

“Shepherd,” Gavin's voice was gentle, but firm. “Take a deep breath. I'm on my way, alright? Stay calm. We'll figure this out.”

I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of his words. Stay calm? How could I possibly stay calm when the man I loved, the man I had sworn to protect and cherish, had disappeared without a trace? But I forced myself to take a shuddering breath, then another, and another, until the black spots dancing at the edges of my vision began to recede.

“Hurry,” I managed to choke out before ending the call, letting the phone fall from my numb fingers to clatter against the hardwood floor.

The wait for Gavin's arrival was interminable. Each second felt like an eternity, stretching out before me in an endless expanse of uncertainty and dread. I paced the length of the apartment like a caged animal, my mind spinning with countless scenarios, each more terrible than the last.

What if Eli was hurt? What if he was lost, alone, and afraid? What if Algerone had made good on his threat to hurt Eli? What if he had left me? How was I ever supposed to recover from that?

The sharp rap of knuckles against the door jolted me from my spiraling thoughts. I lunged for the door, wrenching it open to find Gavin on the other side, his brow furrowed with concern.

“Shepherd,” he said, stepping inside and closing the door behind him with a soft click. His gaze swept over me, taking in my disheveled appearance and the manic gleam in my eyes. “What happened?”

I shook my head, resuming my agitated pacing. “I don't know. I woke up, and he was gone. No note, no explanation, nothing.” My voice cracked on the last word, betraying the depth of my despair.

Gavin's expression softened. He crossed the room in a few long strides, grasping my shoulders and forcing me to meet his gaze. “Shepherd, listen to me. We will find him. I promise you that. But first, I need you to tell me everything you know.”

I took a shuddering breath, trying to organize my jumbled thoughts. “I don’t know anything. Apparently Dex was out yesterday and Keres before that. The last thing I remember… We went out for dinner and then…” I gripped my head. Fuck, I couldn’t remember. Why couldn’t I remember?

I squeezed my eyes shut, my fingers digging into my scalp as I tried to force the memories to the surface. But they remained stubbornly out of reach, like wisps of smoke that dissipated the moment I tried to grasp them.

Gavin's grip on my shoulders tightened, grounding me in the present. “Shepherd, it's all right. Take your time. What do you remember about yesterday?”

I exhaled slowly, forcing my hands to unclench. I closed my eyes and reached deep down, brushing against the other parts of myself buried deep. I felt a small hand reach back, tiny fingers curling around mine. “I remember... Dex wanted to play with his dinosaurs. Eli was there, watching him. Smiling. He seemed... happy.” The word tasted bitter on my tongue, like ashes. Happy. How could Eli be happy when he was planning to leave me?

Gavin nodded, his expression thoughtful. “I saw them together, just before I left for the day. Eli was helping Dex set uphis toys. They were laughing, joking around. It seemed... normal. Eli didn't say anything about leaving or being unhappy.”

I latched onto his words like a drowning man clutching a life preserver. “What else? Did you notice anything unusual? Anything at all?”

Gavin hesitated, his brow furrowing. “No, nothing that stands out. Eli seemed a bit tired, maybe. But that's not uncommon, given his schedule. I left around four o’clock. They had plans to watch another movie and then Dex was going to bed. Eli was supposed to call me if anything happened and I never got a call.”

I began to pace again, my mind racing.

I paced faster, my feet eating up the distance from one end of the room to the other in a matter of seconds. My mind spun with possibilities, each more dire than the last. What if Eli had been taken against his will? What if he was hurt, or worse? The thought made my stomach churn, a sickening sense of dread rising like bile in the back of my throat.

Gavin watched me with growing concern, his hands held out in a placating gesture. “Shepherd, you need to calm down. We'll figure this out, but you're no good to Eli if you let Keres take over.”

I whirled on him, a snarl twisting my lips. “Don't tell me to calm down! Eli is missing, Gavin. Missing! And I have no idea where he is or if he's even still alive!”

My voice cracked on the last word, betraying the depth of my fear. I could feel Keres pacing in the back of my mind, his rage a tangible thing, pressing against the inside of my skull like a physical force. It would be so easy to let him take control, to give in to the darkness and let it consume me. But I couldn't. Not yet. Not until I knew Eli was safe.

Gavin took a step closer, his voice low and soothing. “Shepherd, listen to me. We will find Eli. I swear it on my life. But you have to stay in control.”

The shrill ring of my cellphone pierced the air, jarring me from the dark spiral of my thoughts. I snatched it up, my heart leaping into my throat when I saw UNKNOWN flashing on the screen.

“Eli?” I answered, my voice rough with desperation.

“Shepherd, it’s me.”

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