Page 59 of Vicious Vows

Her sincere eyes waited patiently for me to find the right words. I knew what the right words were, but I wasn’t sure I could say them and make her understand what they meant to me.

“When you told me how you felt,” I said, “I wasn’t caught off guard because I already knew.”

“You did?”

“I know you love me.”

“I said it because I needed to.” She looked at her feet. “Not because I needed you to say it back. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”

“You can handle a hell of a lot. Shit, you manage me just fine.” I ran my fingers along my jaw. “You have no idea what you’ve done to me.”

How could she? What did she do wrong? She fell in love with me, that’s what.

“I’m not trying to do anything to you. I need you to know I’m here for you.” She let out a shaky breath, but she didn’t back down. “I’ve created a lot of stress for you. I’ve caused you to lose focus and made you waste valuable time that could have been used to help your dad.”

“None of that is your fault,” I said.

“Some of it is.”

“I didn’t respond last night because if I said the words out loud, they would change things for me.” I tucked her hair behind her ear. “If I say them, then it will be real. If I put my feelings out there for the universe, bad things are going to happen.”

I sounded ridiculous, but I wasn’t sure how to articulate my fears without sounding weak. I had convinced myself that if I didn’t feel, I couldn’t get hurt when disaster struck. She would go on breathing because she wouldn’t be cursed with the kind of love I could give her.

“Bad things can happen whether you say the words or not.” She took my hand. “But so many wonderful things could happen too. You just have to let them.”

“I want to, I do.”

“There’s no rush,” she whispered.

She was one of the most stubborn, impatient women I knew. Why was she being so generous about this?

Because she really does love me.

“I love you.” I kissed the corner of her mouth. “I should have told you last night.”

“You’re telling me now.”

“I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me.” She placed her hand on my jaw. “Because the way you knew I loved you was the same way I knew you loved me. If you never said it, I would still know.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“You’re stuck with me.” Her mouth curved into a spectacular smile. “Nothing is going to happen to me.”

“I believe that.” I wrapped my arms around her, pushing back images of car bombs and gunshots. History would not repeat itself. Not on my watch. “You’re too stubborn to leave me.”

“I love you, and I don’t care what’s unfolding around us. If I have to be Juliet to your Romeo, then so be it.”

“I’d rather you be the beauty to my beast. Their story ends much better.”

“Nothing is going to end for us.” She kissed me. “I promise.”

“I believe you.” I captured her lips, deepening the connection. “I love you.”

“You better.” She laughed. “I’m not an easy prisoner.”

“Don’t I know it.”

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