We chat some more and, just before we end the call, Kirstie says, ‘Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you if I can come up again?’

My heart leaps. ‘Of course! When?’

‘Next week? Or the week after?’

‘I’d love that.’

Sophie pops her head in. ‘I’m going to try and come too, but it depends on the kids – they’ve both said they’re coming to stay soon but haven’t confirmed when. Can I let you know?’

‘Yes, yes, yes!’ I say, thrilled at the prospect of seeing my best friends in real life. I’m also excited – and slightly nervous – about them meeting Jay. Especially Kirstie, as I know she’ll be looking for reasons why he’s not right for me.

But I’m determined to prove her wrong, and show her that, not only is she mistaken about Matt, but Jay is without doubt The One.

26

‘There’s no need to look quite so nervous,’ I say, laughing at the look on Jay’s face when I answer the door to him.

‘Sorry,’ he says sheepishly. ‘I’m just a bit out of my comfort zone.’

If I’ve learned anything about Jay over the last two weeks since we’ve been seeing each other, it’s that he doesnotlike to feel out of his comfort zone. He knows what he likes and he likes to stay in his lane.

‘It’ll be fun,’ I assure him, straightening the collar of his denim jacket and pressing my palm against his cheek. He turns his head and kisses it and pulls me in to him. We’re kissing like teenagers on a first date when someone shouts ‘get a room’ as they pass and we spring apart guiltily.

‘I guess that’s our cue to get going,’ I say, pulling the door shut behind me.

I’ve bought us tickets to see Two Door Cinema Club tonight. I couldn’t believe it when Jay admitted he’d never been to a proper gig, and although I usually prefer smaller bands, smaller venues – I think about the gigs Kirstie and I used to love in cool bars in Camden, tiny pubs in south London and grotty clubs near King’s Cross – I had to rectify it quickly. I’d been lucky to find three tickets for this gig on a resale site, and now we’re off to meet Kirstie at Central station to go and give Jay a taste of his very first concert.

‘Come on, we don’t want to leave Kirstie stranded,’ I say, tugging his hand to pull him in the direction of the Metro station. This is another thing about Jay – he never takes the Metro, preferring to drive his fancy car everywhere. But ever since the accident – which I still haven’t confessed to being my fault – he hasn’t replaced his car. In fact he admitted to me the other night that he was actually quite enjoying being car-free for the first time in his adult life.

‘Feel pleased that you’re being environmentally friendly as well,’ I said as he looked dubiously at the Metro ticket I bought him.

Jay doesn’t say a word all the way to the Metro station, and by the time we’re on the train and he still hasn’t spoken to me I’m starting to get worried. I take his hand and thread my fingers through his. ‘Don’t look so scared. We’ll have fun, I promise.’

He smiles but it’s unconvincing.

‘Come on, out with it. It’s not the gig you’re worried about, is it?’

He shakes his head.

‘So, what is it?’

He doesn’t answer for a moment and my heart skips a beat as I realise it might be that he’s changed his mind about us. Maybe that’s why he’s being so quiet this evening. I hold my breath, all the things he might be about to say flying through my head.

I can’t do this.

I don’t feel that way about you.

It’s not you, it’s me.

I know you’re to blame for my accident.

‘It’s Kirstie,’ he says eventually, and I’m so surprised I just stare at him.

‘What?’ He squirms.

‘I just… That really wasn’t what I expected you to say.’

He shrugs and shuffles his feet. ‘I know. I never feel like this about meeting anyone.’ He sticks his chest out and bangs on it. ‘Me, big brave man.’ He slumps down again. ‘But honestly, from what you’ve told me about her, she sounds like a terrifying prospect for a new boyfriend. I’m afraid she’s going to crucify me.’