Page 96 of The World Outside My Window

‘What? Oh, yes, absolutely fine.’ Carol clears her throat loudly. ‘Arthur and I couldn’t help noticing that you’ve been doing some decorating, and he –we –wondered if you’d like some help.’ She turns to her husband behind her. ‘Didn’t we, Arthur?’

‘Yes, we did.’ He grins at Laura and she smothers a smile back.

‘That’s really kind of you but you don’t have to do that,’ she says. ‘I’m getting on fine.’

Arthur steps forward now and Laura can see he’s already dressed in a pair of scruffy, paint-splattered trousers and a matching jumper. ‘I’m more than happy to help,’ he says. ‘It’ll keep me out of Carol’s hair anyway. Might even get a bit of peace and quiet.’

‘There’s no need to be cheeky, Arthur,’ Carol says, lifting her chin defiantly.

Laura takes pity on him and steps back. ‘Well, if you’re really sure, I’d love a bit of help painting the skirting boards,’ she says.

Arthur hurries inside and heads straight into the living room. Laura turns back to Carol, who’s still on the doorstep, looking a bit sheepish.

‘Is everything all right?’ Laura says. Carol flushes a deep shade of crimson.

‘’Yes. I—’ she stammers. Laura has never seen her look so nervous. Then Carol holds out a square pink envelope withLaurawritten on the front in neat handwriting. ‘This is for you, from everyone.’ She gestures behind her with a flourish and snaps her mouth shut.

‘Oh, I – thank you,’ Laura says. ‘Shall I open it now?’

‘If you like, dear.’ Carol seems to have recovered some of her composure.

Laura carefully opens the envelope and pulls out a card, decorated with a drawing of flowers. She opens it up and several notes slide out and almost drop to the floor. Laura manages to catch them before they do.

‘Oh…’ She trails off, unsure what to say. She looks back at the card and sees that everyone has signed their name inside – Carol, Arthur, Ben, Jane, Sonja, Simon, Tracy, Marjorie, even Faye. She looks up at Carol questioningly.

‘I – we knew you wanted to freshen the place up a bit and we thought this might come in handy to help you get what you wanted.’ She seems uncomfortable. ‘I – I hope you don’t think it’s inappropriate, only none of us knew what your taste was so we didn’t dare choose anything ourselves.’

Laura glances down at the card and the bundle of notes in her hands. There must be more than two hundred pounds here and she finds herself overwhelmed with emotion.

‘I don’t know what to say,’ she says. ‘It’s – this is too kind. Thank you.’

Carol claps her hands together. ‘Oh, thank goodness, I’m so glad. I was worried you’d think it was vulgar, giving you cash, but everyone else said it would probably be better than a voucher.’ She stops, gives a wry smile. ‘Sorry, I promised Arthur I wouldn’t waffle on.’ She lays her hands on Laura’s forearm gently. ‘We just wanted you to know that we’re all here for you, and if there’s anything you need, you only need to ask.’

Laura feels a tear forming in the corner of her eye and she blinks it back. She can hardly believe how kind everyone has been, and this – well, this has almost pushed her over the edge. Because Carol is right. She does want to brighten the place up. She hasn’t spoken to Jim since the showdown in Putney, but through solicitors he’s agreed to let her keep the house, which it turned out he paid for in cash. She’s always known he earns a lot but had never realised quite how much, and knowing he can well afford it is helping to allay the guilt she feels at living here mortgage-free. The police are coming down hard on Jim because of the bigamy, and a part of her felt sorry for him when it was explained to her that he could even end up with a prison sentence. But there’s nothing she can do to change the outcome either, so she’s chosen not to think about it too much. After all, as Debbie has said countless times, he made his bed, the least he can do is lie in it without making a fuss.

This house is the one good thing to have come out of everything that’s happened, and she’s decided to stay here, at least for the foreseeable future. But she also wants to purge it of any memories of Jim, to make it a place where she wants to live, alone. Because for the first time in years – since she met Jim, even before that – she’s finally starting to feel like herself again. She’s learning that Debbie was right all along: she is stronger than she thought she was, she doesn’t need anyone else to protect her, and she’s perfectly capable of looking after herself.

‘Thank you,’ she whispers, then closes the door and goes to find her helper for the afternoon.

33

NOW – 5 JANUARY 1993

‘I need your help.’ Laura stands on Ben’s doorstep, pieces of paper piled haphazardly in her arms, sheafs in danger of being lost forever to a sudden gust of wind.

‘Come in, quick,’ he says and she rushes past him into the peaceful calm of his hallway. He shuts the door and turns to face her. ‘What’s going on?’

Laura lets out a huge sigh. ‘I was trying to fill in all these forms—’ she indicates the stack balanced in her arms ‘—because I was determined to do them by myself, but it turns out one of the consequences of having spent the last seven years letting someone else do everything for me is that I’ve entirely forgotten how to do anything for myself.’

‘Give them here before they go all over the floor.’ Ben reaches out and takes the uppermost papers and shuffles them into a neat pile. ‘What are they?’ He starts to walk through to the kitchen and Laura kicks off her damp shoes and follows.

‘Remember we talked about me starting my own catering business?’

‘Ye-e-s-s-s?’

‘Well, that’s what this is. Only it turns out there are quite a lot more hoops to jump through than I’d anticipated.’

Ben places the papers carefully on his tiny table and opens the fridge. ‘Drink?’ He pulls out a bottle of wine. ‘Or are you still trying not to…?

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