Page 85 of The World Outside My Window

‘When did you get these made?’

‘I made them yesterday,’ Ben says.

‘Oh, right.’ Laura feels a bit blindsided. She didn’t realise the pair of them were making plans behind her back. But then she’s been so preoccupied with the thought of physically getting into London that she hasn’t had time to think about what she might do once she got here. She’s grateful they’ve taken matters into their own hands.

‘Thank you.’ She looks up at the rows of shops, chains such as Our Price and WHSmith, the odd smattering of newsagents and shoe shops, a Wimpy in the distance. ‘Where should we start?’

Ben peers along the road. ‘I guess we just start by going into every shop?’

‘The bigger ones are no good,’ Debbie says, taking charge. ‘They’ll have different staff in every day. But we can go into the smaller ones, like that off-licence over there, and that clothes shops next to it. And then I think we should head off the main road and try some of the side streets. See if there are any pubs, restaurants, maybe put some through people’s doors?’

It seems a bit scattergun, but Laura can’t think of any better plan so she nods. ‘You’ll do the talking though, right?’

‘Course I will.’ Debbie hooks her arm through Laura’s. ‘It’s all under control.’

* * *

Although they started just before lunch, by the time they’ve been into most of the shops on Putney High Street and found a few pubs hidden away too, it’s mid-afternoon and already starting to get dark. Although their feet ache and they’re soaked through from the sudden downpour that started around two o’clock and has been on and off ever since, it’s not physical exhaustion Laura feels. Mentally, she feels as though her head might explode if she has to smile at or speak to one more stranger today. And she’s not sure how many more times she can hear someone tell them that they hope she finds Jim, but that, sorry, they don’t know him.

Around half past three they decide to stop for a drink and find a little Italian café just off the main stretch of road. The air inside is steamy and as they remove their damp coats, Laura feels as though she could just curl into a ball and go to sleep.

‘I’ll go and order,’ Debbie says as Laura and Ben sit down. Laura watches her friend march up to the counter, then turns her attention to Ben. He looks bedraggled, his dark hair slick against his head, and she’s reminded of the first time she saw him, on that rainy day when she ran away from his house and he brought her shoes back. Was that really only three weeks ago? She feels as though she’s known him forever.

‘It feels strange that I’ve never seen you and Jim together,’ Ben says, as though he’s reading her mind.

‘What do you mean?’ She wipes a drip of rain from her forehead with her sleeve.

‘It feels as though I’ve known you so long, but it’s only been since Jim went missing.’ He shrugs, suddenly shy. ‘Sorry, that probably sounds weird.’

She shakes her head. ‘No, I agree.’ She twiddles a sachet of sugar in her fingers.

‘I hope you don’t mind me coming with you today?’

Laura looks up sharply. ‘Why would I mind?’

‘Because it’s such a personal thing,’ Ben says, unsure. ‘I mean, you’re looking for your missing husband. It would have been totally understandable if you hadn’t wanted a virtual stranger tagging along. It’s just, I really like Jim, and I – well, I really like you too.’

Laura doesn’t know what to say. What she wants to say is that she likes him too, and that he’s not a virtual stranger, that he’s become important to her, in so many ways. Only, she can’t even quite untangle her feelings herself – howdoesshe see Ben? Does she really see him only as a friend, as she’s told Debbie so insistently? Or is it more than that? Does she feel as though, if Jim weren’t in the equation, there might be more between them?

She shakes the treacherous thought away. But Jimisinvolved, and he’s her husband, and that’s what today is about.

She’s saved from having to reply by Debbie’s return. ‘I’ve ordered us tea and a piece of chocolate cake each, hope that’s okay,’ she says, collapsing into the spare chair. Laura moves over slightly to give her space and finds her leg brushing against Ben’s. She pulls it away quickly.

Debbie isn’t fooled though.

‘What’s wrong with you two? I’ve only been gone two minutes.’

‘What? Nothing?’

Debbie looks from Laura to Ben and back again, but neither of them give anything away. She leans forward. ‘We haven’t got very far, have we?’ She taps her fingernails against the cheap plastic tabletop.

‘No, but we can’t give up yet. There’s still quite a few shops to go, and we can wander round the back streets a bit more,’ Ben says, glad to be focusing on their search again.

Laura glances out of the steamed-up window of the café. ‘It’ll be dark within the hour. I’m not sure we can keep going much longer.’

Debbie reaches over and covers Laura’s hand with hers. ‘We’re not giving up, Lau, I promise. If we don’t find anything today, then we’ll come back another day, and another one, and we’ll keep coming until either we find him, or the police do.’

Laura doesn’t reply and Debbie searches her friend’s face. ‘What’s wrong?’

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