Page 7 of Heal Me

"In her condition, it’s too dangerous to transfer her somewhere. "

"Is it not dangerous to sit back and watch her die?" Denys shouted.

I knew that he was just a little bit short of killing the doctor and taking me out of the country himself.

And I continued to lay, looking at the wall. Now, indeed, everyone has ceased to exist for me. Amelia was gone. That girl who is not afraid of anything was gone in an instant. Instead, another Amelia appeared, who fell asleep thinking that this was her last day and was afraid not to open her eyes in the morning.

"You have to eat something, sunshine." Denys tried to feed me again.

I was losing weight like crazy, but there was nothing I could do about it. Although I realised that I needed to stay strong and healthy but I couldn’t force myself.

"I brought a laptop, shall we watch a movie? " I was silent. I closed my eyes and was silent.

"Then I'll read you your favourite book, okay? "

I continued to be silent, but Denys didn’t stop. He read me a book as if it were some kind of spell that would help me get back on my feet. I was afraid to look into his eyes, because in them, I saw only pain, they were no longer blue, they became like glass, they hid so many untold secrets behind them

It's a pity that I didn't learn one of them before everything happened.

A week later, the news came that a heart donor had been found that was a perfect match for me. I asked the doctor to repeat his words, but I couldn’t believe it for a long time.

"Today we will conduct an operation, you will return to normal life," he said for probably the tenth time, and I sat as if enchanted.

I couldn’t believe it. Then, when I had time to say goodbye to everyone, bury myself in my thoughts and accept the fact that all my plans will never come true, you say that an ideal donor with an ideal heart was found.

That was a miracle.

On that, the happiest day for me, I was alone. There was no mum, no Sebastian, no Denys. They ignored my text messages, and I didn't understand what was going on.

On that happiest day of my life, I would rather die than allow what was about to happen.

November eleventh, 2018

That day, the sky cried, and so did I.

My second birthday, my best memory and my worst horror. Denys was nowhere to be found, nor was Sebastian. My mother held my hand while I cried, and Svyat sat in the corner of the room and didn’t know what to do.

"Why aren't they here? " I asked.

"I don't know, sweetheart." My mother cried as well, in her eyes I saw even stronger pain than ever.

In half an hour, the operation will begin, and who knows if it will be successful, and even if it is, the first day will be decisive for me.

The nurse came into the room and smiled. My heart was beating wildly, my hands were shaking, and my mouth was silently praying.

"Everything will be fine," my mother shouted when they finally took me out of the room.

To say that I was afraid is an understatement. The road to the operating room seemed like an eternity. I closed my eyes, for me, it will only take a few seconds, no matter how long the operation will be.

The anaesthesiologist started counting from ten to one, and with each number my eyelids got heavier.

I didn't dream anything, I didn't feel anything, there was just darkness, complete darkness. And then a light, so bright that it blinded my eyes, it beckoned me and scared me at the same time.

"Amelia," someone touched my shoulder.

The eyes hurt terribly, and the whole body too, is it all over yet?

I was connected to a thousand tubes that kept me alive, but I didn't feel alive.

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