Page 62 of Heal Me

"Damn," he curses, "how did I get here?"

"That's what I'd like to ask you," I put the book aside and get up as well.

Danylo comes closer.

"Let's pretend this didn't happen."

"I am the last person in this world who would want to tell anyone that you slept on my bed. Especially since you're getting married soon." "So you already know." I'm surprised.

"You told me that."

"What else?" He looks away.

I'm surprised again. Danylo is too weird.

"Nothing, did you want to tell me anything else?"

"No," he answers quickly. "I have to go," Danylo points to the door.

"Yeah, I think you should go."

"See you later," he says and grabs all his things.

"I don't think so."

Danylo stops in mid-step.

"Why not?"

"We should stay as far away from each other as possible, Danylo, it's better for everyone."

He looked me straight in the eye and I felt a pain in my heart, I want to take back my words, but it's too late, he nods and leave my room.

And I feel empty. As if my airflow has been taken away from me. Or the sun. Or the meaning of life.

No. Something much more important was taken from me.

Danylo was taken from me.

But how can I feel empty because of someone who never really belonged to me?

Chapter 23

Exactly twelve days and twenty-two hours have passed since the day

Danylo left the walls of my room. And it was probably the first time in the last two years that I didn't think about Denys, but instead thought about Danylo all the time.

Although at night I still woke up and screamed, but this time it was not because of Denys. Something has changed in me, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

I know that I don't like Danylo, it's simply impossible, and even if I did, I would try my best to extinguish these feelings in myself.

That's basically what I've been doing for the last two weeks. I don't know how to explain this attraction to him. It's not love, but a feeling of... peace? Comfort and protection. That's what it is.

I feel protected with him, I feel something that I can't feel living in this world. I thought I had found the same thing in Timur. I thought that being with him would make me breathe easier, but I was wrong. I cancelled our meeting that Sunday, still avoiding him. I can't give him false hope. I can't and I won't. So rather he thinks I'm weird than fall in love with me.

I will never be able to love anyone. I know that. And Danylo loves someone else with all his heart, so I just need to focus on my studies and work.

I will never again be able to call someone my universe or dream of building my future with them. Because I have no future. People who survive a heart transplant do not live long.

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