Page 18 of Heal Me

About his eyes.

About what would have happened if I had let him kiss me.

Chapter 7

2018

"Do you understand that this is already the third suicide attempt?" the doctor addresses to my mother.

This bastard thinks that by tying me up in this fucking hospital, they will protect me from myself?

"Fuck you", I shout.

"What can we do in this situation?"

The most terrible thing is to see my mother's tears, it was not easy for her, first she lost her husband, and now she also lost her daughter, who is almost a psychopath.

"You understand that you are just crazy," Sebastian takes me out of my thoughts and doesn't give me the opportunity to continue eavesdropping on the conversation between the doctor and my mother.

"What do you want from me?"

"You are not harming yourself, you are harming all of us," my brother continues to shout at me.

"If you don't shut up now, I'll smash your stupid head against the wall."

He stops for a moment, rushing from place to place, and looks at me.

Sebastian walks over to my bed and sits on a chair. At least they left something for me in this room, even the pen was taken away, bastards.

Let's skip the moment when I threatened to gouge out the nurse's eyes with it if she didn't give me the medicine that would make me die.

"Amelia," he touched my hand. "Stop this madness, I miss my little sister, I miss you."

I turn my head to the side, so he can't see my tears and pull my hand away from him.

I miss myself too.

"The only way to stop this madness is to kill me."

Pain appears on his face, his eyes are filled with blood along with tears. The hands are shaking, and the body is tense.

"He can't be returned, but you have a chance to live."

"I was doomed, but he was not. You should have saved him," I start poking my finger in my brother's chest. "You should have helped him," I get up from the bed and hover over him. "I hate you," I said quietly. "And mom too, I hate everyone, it was you who did this to me," I raise my voice. "Get away."

Sebastian continues to sit, which makes me even angrier.

"Get away," I shout with all my might. "Away, away, away," my whole body shakes from pain and tears, I hold my head. "Away, get away, away."

Someone runs into the room and stabs me with something. Everything around begins to sink into darkness. I hope I will not get out of it again.

***

It's been three months since his death, and I still don't feel like I'm alive. I sat on the floor and didn't understand what was happening. I didn’t understand why it was so difficult to breathe.

"Ami, "someone spoke to me.

"No, no, no," I repeated the words and pressed my knees closer to me. "No, no, no," I repeated the words as if they helped me breathe.

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