Page 106 of Heal Me

The blonde turns to me, her gaze doesn’t reflect anything. What did they do here?

"Probably in the room," she says, and returns to party.

Inside, everything turns upside down. I don't want to go into the room because I'm afraid of what I might see there. Something seems to tell me to leave the walls of this apartment, but I don't pay attention.

I've already lost my universe once, so I don't think I can do it again. I still dare and go forward. I’m slowly approaching certain death. I stop in front of the door and beg not to see something there that will break my heart.

And I don't see it. I see something worse. A picture that will stay in my head for a long time and slowly destroy me from the inside.

Danylo's hands slide along her back. She sits on him in all her glory. Their groans seem to drown out the music blaring mercilessly through the speakers.

I can't take a step. I can't bring myself to get out of here. I can't stop watching.

Danylo notices me. But he doesn’t stop. He looks at me with empty eyes, as if he doesn't even know who I am. In a few seconds, the room shrinks to unheard of dimensions and plunges into darkness, absorbing me along with it. It seems that I am no longer standing at the door, but hid somewhere far from here, covering my head with my hands. But I'm here. I'm still watching the guy who's on my mind kiss someone else.

I feel like someone is ripping my heart out of my chest as her name comes out of his mouth.

"Lily."

Yes. I should have recognised her wavy blonde hair immediately. I should have recognised my friend immediately.

And I recognised it.

But I didn't believe until the end.

I find my last strength and fly out of the apartment. I will never come back here again.

I will never come back into his life. I feel like in one second I was trampled and levelled with the ground. How I ended up somewhere at the bottom of the deep ocean, where I was attacked by sharks. How I burned alive in the house. I feel everything and nothing at once. It hurts.

But I am not hurt by his act, but by his look. He noticed me but didn't stop. He knew I was standing before him, but his eyes were filled with emptiness and darkness.

Lily. He was with Lily. And how long has it been going on? What have they been doing all this week? Is there something between them?

I'm going to throw up now. I can't fight it. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of Danylo and his roller coaster. I don't want to see him in my life.

If I could show people hell, I would just show them my life.

Chapter 39

"And why are you mad at him?" Asks my therapist.

"Because," I inhale air, "it hurts."

"He hurt your feelings, right?" "Yes," I nod.

"So you have feelings for him?" Do I have feelings for Danylo?

I'm thinking…

Yes, if you can call feelings that I burn for him.

No, if you remember that, he doesn't care about me.

"I don't know what to call it, I just worry about him, and he hurts me."

"But he didn't know about your feelings, so he didn't think about what would hurt you."

"Yes, but," I begin to argue, but I stop.

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