Page 105 of Heal Me

I close my eyes trying to imagine another life. But I don't even know what kind of life I want to imagine. I always saw Denys in front of me, always imagined that he was next to me, but now?

Do I still want to see him in front of me?

My chest starts to burn... It burns so much because I know the answer for sure. I know the exact answer that will shatter me the second I say it. No.

For some reason, Denys's light hair has changed to dark, his blue eyes have become brown, and what comes out of his mouth is notsunshine, as he always called me, butdarley, such a sweet and unusual nickname that belongs only to us. Only me and Danylo.

Now that there are two of us, everything is slowly disappearing, taking our pain with it. We hold hands and whisper words of love that we are not allowed to say. It was wrong from day one. We both knew it, but neither of us stopped. We were attracted like two magnets that cannot find where the energy is coming from. It was above us and was born long before our meeting.

We don't choose who to fall in love with. We are unable to control it, to resist, to pretend that nothing is happening.

Love once killed and revived me at the same time. It took away the whole universe from me and gave me a new life. A part of me died that day, slowly died while I read the letter, and continues to die every year when I visit his grave. Denys was my everything, we belonged to each other from the first seconds, but sometimes you are just not meant to be together. We were not destined to raise our children and face old age together. But I was destined to live on, love, feel, laugh, cry.

No matter how much that day destroyed me, I found a person who was able toheal me.

Chapter 38

As soon as the plane lands, I'm the first to take off. Danylo did not respond to any of my text messages during the whole week.

Me: How are you? All right?

Me: Danylo, please answer.

Me: I'm worried.

Me: I will be in Kyiv in two days.

Me: I'm coming back to Kyiv tomorrow, can I see you?

No answer.

This vacation was one of the worst in my life. I thought about Danylo all the time. Sebastian tried to distract me, but I spent most of the time behind the closed door of my room.

"Don't worry, let's catch a taxi and go to him."

Of course, Sebastian flew with me. We exchanged our tickets for a flight to Kyiv, told my parents that I urgently need to go to the university, although studies won't start for more than a week, but I won't last another day without Danylo. I need to make sure he's okay.

I go back to his apartment again. But this time everything will be different. This time, there would be no smell of his wife's perfume in the kitchen and no coat hanging in the hallway.

"Do you think everything is fine with him?"

"Amelia, Danylo is not a little boy, he will handle it."

"He found out a week ago that his wife cheated on him, and his son is not even his. This is hard to deal with."

"Yes, you're right."

Thirty minutes later, we arrive. My body is shaking, my heart is pounding, and I almost pass out by the time I get to the right floor.

Sebastian is knocking on the door, and I don't know where to put my hands. They bother me like everything else.

No one opens the door, but the speakers fill the entire floor with music. I grab the handle and the door opens.

We go inside, and the unpleasant smell hits my face. A bunch of drunk students are dancing to music and doing who knows what.

I don't see any familiar faces yet, so I approach the most sober ones.

"I'm sorry, but where is Danylo?"

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