Page 10 of Dark Room Junkie

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Noé

Fuck, what was I thinking? Why didn’t I bail?

I sat on the tram, staring out the window. The images from last night kept flashing back, making me shudder.

The guy definitely fucked me.

Fuck!

And ... he was so good.

No! Get those thoughts out of your head!

But the thoughts kept coming back.

Alex above me, sweaty, with wild hair, a lustful gaze, a greedy sparkle in his eyes, and his soft lips kissing me with tenderness.

“Argh!” I growled and ruffled my hair. I didn’t care that the elderly lady in the seat in front of me turned around. I just shook my head incredulously. And yet, I also felt a bit pathetic.

The last thing burned into my memory of Alex was him, naked, the sheet covering him up to his hips, one hand resting on his stomach, and the sun casting a narrow strip of light through the crack in the curtains onto his chest. His face looked relaxed, and I noticed his long eyelashes. Along with his thick, dark eyebrows, he actually looked a bit like that actor who played Superman. He was incredibly hot, and I wondered why he hid his handsome face behind those glasses.

I had stared at him for too long. But it was my way of saying goodbye to him, or rather, to the most comfortable bed I had slept in for months. I would never keep someone on the list who fucked me. No! With the life I led, it was important to stay in control. And last night, I definitely lost it.

I tiptoed out of the room and freshened up in the bathroom in the hallway; I couldn’t leave that apartment without showering for anything in the world. But there was no time to dawdle, because Alex could have woken up and stood in front of me at any moment. Guys like him were usually up early, and I strictly avoided having breakfast or morning sex with them.

I was okay as long as it was dark. As if the night were my element, I moved in it with ease. I flirted, prevented any unpleasant scenes, and skillfully guided the insecure souls through our date—all for a warm bed. It came naturally to me, and I also benefited from it.

Damn ... Guys like him.

Who am I kidding?

I totally misjudged him.

And then the asthma attack too.

That had given me something to think about when he unexpectedly stumbled out of the room, wheezing.

I got off at the last stop, but I still didn’t feel fully awake. Usually, I would feel relaxed and rested after a night like that. Now, I was just rested. Relaxed was different. My pulse was racing, and I still felt a pain in my lower back.

I was still incredulous.

Did I misjudge him that much?

The guy fucked me. Big time.

Damn!

I don’t let myself get fucked!

On the other hand, it was good, a soft voice echoed in the back of my mind.

No! No “on the other hand,” you idiot!

That’s not going to happen again.

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