Page 62 of Dark Room Junkie

“There are also bathrooms on the second floor. You’ll have privacy there.”

“Good idea.”

Everyone rushed straight to the basement, where the rehearsal room was. And since hardly anyone knew yet that I was the new singer, no one cared when I disappeared upstairs.

I paced in front of the urinals and warmed up my vocal cords while trying to motivate myself.

Eventually, I stood in front of the mirror, watching my chest rise and fall as if I had just sprinted. In an instant, Alex crept into my thoughts. How he lay on top of me and kissed me passionately. My pants felt tight all of a sudden.

Shit! Forget about the guy!

“I love you,” he said.

What the fuck...

And now? What does he expect from me? I have no idea what love is supposed to be like!

Fuck! Why am I even thinking about this? The guy was totally high!

And what’s wrong with me that I let him fuck me like that!

How could I even allow that?

It seemed like forever ago that I had been on top, yet the night with Steffan was barely a week ago. It was high time to look for new people. Winter was around the corner. A few extra sleeping options wouldn’t hurt.

The door swung open and Marco peered inside. “Where are you, man? We were afraid you’d chickened out!”

I glanced at my phone and was surprised at how late it was already. Everything happened very quickly. I followed Marco downstairs to the rehearsal room. There were already so many people that I just pushed past them and followed Marco onto the stage without looking up.

“Are you ready?” he asked, strapping on his bass.

I made a circular motion with my hand, signaling to the band to start, plugged in my in-ears, and stepped up to the microphone. The audience started moving and applauding. And I greeted them with a long, throaty scream.

As if my voice catapulted me into another world, all nervousness fell away from me and all nagging thoughts dissolved. I felt lighter than ever. From the first note, I captivated the stage, the audience, and the whole room. I flirted with the women in front of the stage and let my gaze wander to the back row. I didn’t hesitate to exude my sex appeal and even grabbed myself once. I sang as if my life depended on it, boosting the energy in the room until it almost sparked. Between songs, I let Marco introduce me and received applause. The stage was my element, and I was right where I belonged. In a place where I had control and doubts didn’t exist.

***

As we stood later in the parking lot next to Chris’s car, I still found it hard to stand still; God, I was so heated and horny, I could have burst.

While the party in the rehearsal room continued, the two guitarists loaded their instruments into the trunk.

Chris patted me on the shoulder. “You were awesome!”

Despite not wearing a jacket I didn’t even feel the cold anymore and just nodded.

“The guy’s doubting himself!” Lukas sang as he came around the car.

“No, I ...” But now, as the adrenaline subsided, self-doubt started to creep in. “I shouldn’t have gone too overboard with the song Diggin’.”

“Nonsense!” Marco exclaimed. “You delivered a flawless show. Considering you haven’t known the songs for long ... Hats off!”

“We still have two rehearsals to fine-tune things,” Chris said.

“Oh man, you guys!” Marco threw his hands up in the air, then spotted someone he knew at the entrance. “Lu! How’d you like it?”

The guy took a drag of his cigarette, blew out the smoke, and smiled. “Good! You guys rocked!”

“See!” Marco said. “It’s going to be great! We’re already good. So, the album release is going to be awesome!”

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