Page 45 of Dark Room Junkie

I always imagined it would be great to jet around the world as a flight attendant, but every time Mia’s job came up, she got upset and talked about quitting soon.

With my cup, I followed Tom into the living room. There was a huge sofa with several pillows. Next to a freshly made blanket, there was even a pair of sweatpants ready. Tom tugged down the blinds and drew the curtains.

“Do you need anything else?”

I shook my head. “Thanks, Tom.”

“For you, always,” he said, squeezing my arm and leaving me alone.

I changed and brushed my teeth before lying down. Even though I had slept almost all day, I still felt incredibly empty and drained. My life was exhausting right now, and I had no more energy. I kept reaching this point over and over again, and it felt even worse with winter looming on top of everything.

My limbs ached, and I hoped I wouldn’t get sick. The warm-up concert in the rehearsal room was next week. But as much as I longed for sleep and rest, Alex kept haunting my mind and keeping me awake.

I still found it hard to believe how the evening had unfolded. It wasn’t even all the naked men that had thrown me off, but the piles of supplies on the living room table that even my mother could only dream of. Just the thought of what this bunch was doing together—with Alex!—made me dizzy.

He doesn’t fit in there at all.

I should have dragged him out of that apartment and confronted him. But I had been too preoccupied with keeping the monster locked up, awakened by all that stuff lying around. And it was still raging, rabidly beating against the bars in my mind and emitting heart-wrenching sounds as if it were about to die. I pressed my palms against my forehead and fought against the whirlpool that wanted to make me search Tom’s apartment; even though I knew there was nothing to find here.

I then fell into a state that I wasn’t sure was sleep, but it plunged me into the darkness of my dreams. Even though I knew it wasn’t reality, I couldn’t free myself from this dream. It brought back the memory of being intoxicated, a state from which I never wanted to wake up.

A strange noise eventually reached my ears and woke me up. I felt hungover as if I had been drinking all night. I struggled to turn to my side and remove the blanket from my head. Tom was sitting on the long chair placed at my feet, pressing buttons on a game controller while playing soccer on the muted, flickering flat screen. The blinds were up, allowing the sun to stream through the thick gray cloud cover.

“Good morning!” he said cheerfully. “How are you?”

“I feel like crap,” I muttered, struggling into an upright position. My voice sounded even worse, and now my throat hurt too.

“I figured. The paracetamol is over there. But eat something first.”

“Is it already noon?” I asked, tying my hair back.

“Yeah, you slept like a log. There’s milk and cornflakes. Help yourself.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I shuffled into the kitchen and returned with a bowl of cereal. Tom was still playing his game as I sat down on the couch and ate the flakes.

“You’re staying here for the weekend,” he said, his gaze focused on the screen. “Mia has a New York flight and won’t be back until Monday. She says hi and tells you to keep your hands off my conditioner.”

“Haha,” I said humorlessly.

“You can rest here.”

“Thanks,” I said between spoonfuls. “I just want to hide, actually.”

“And get well,” he added. “I heard you coughing during the night. Is that concert on Thursday?”

“Yeah, are you coming too?”

“I’d really like to, but it’s Mia’s birthday. No chance she wants to spend it in the rehearsal room.”

“I understand,” I said and laughed.

“But I won’t miss the album launch party for sure.”

“Has that Dani guy contacted you yet?”

“Yeah, he sent me a text. He’s coming to the rehearsal room on Wednesday. The guy even plays double bass, I heard.”

“Cool.”

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