Page 89 of Deeply Examined

Her throat moves as she swallows, and her voice is quiet but firm. “When we started,cupcakewas a way to keep things separate. A boundary. A safety net. But I don’t want that between us anymore. Not you and me. Not Adam and Jessica.”

She searches my face, like she’s making sure I understand. “In real life, we’re equal. Both of us deserve to have our needs met. We don’t need a safe word to protect ourselves from each other. We don’t need an escape hatch.” She inhales sharply, like she’s steadying herself, then continues, “I trust you. I know you’ll stop if I ask, that you’ll never hurt me in a way I don’t want.”

The breath stalls in my chest.

I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear those words until she spoke them.

She’s not afraid of me.

Not of my control, my possessiveness, my need to keep her, own her, protect her.

And even though I don’t deserve it, shetrustsme.

I tip her chin up, forcing her to meet my eyes, as I answer, my voice rough with emotion, “No more of anything that stands between us. No more barriers, no more walls. Just you and me.” I pause, letting the words settle between us before I say, with finality— “Adam and Jessica.”

“Are you scared?” she asks, her green eyes wide.

It only takes a second to answer because the truth is obvious to me. “I know fear. I’ve lived it, breathed it. I think there’s always been a part of me stuck in that closet, no matter how old I grew. Until you, Jessica. You opened the door and set me free.” I brush a kiss to her temple, letting my lips linger against her skin. “So, no. I’m not afraid. Not even a little.”

She exhales a soft laugh. Curling closer, she presses her heart against mine. “Good. I’m not either.”

The firelight paints her bare skin golden, and for a moment, I just look at her—breathless, overwhelmed that she’s here. That she’smine.I take her mouth in a kiss, slow and reverent, pouring everything I feel into it. Then I hold her tight, like she might disappear if I let go. But she won’t. Not anymore.

Because she chose me.

And I’ll spend the rest of my life proving she made the right decision.

Chapter twenty

Adam

Six Months Later

The wine cork opens with a satisfyingpop.

“All right, you two. This is the last bottle. After this, I’m cutting you off.” I pour a generous amount into Jessica’s long-stemmed glass and then Monica’s. I walk away, shaking my head as they giggle like schoolgirls. Three bottles in, and they’re deep in some whispered conversation, Jessica’s blonde head tipped close to Monica’s dark brunette. I don’t know what they’re talking about, but, given the bright red on Jessica’s cheeks and how she keeps dramatically fanning herself, I’m probably better off not knowing.

Monica is the raunchiest woman I’ve ever met. When she and Jessica start discussing the more scandalous scenes from their favorite romance novels, they makemeblush.Me—a man with a dedicated sex room in his house—these two put me to shame. Not that I’m complaining. I’ve had the pleasure of reenacting some of those scenes with Jessica—with spectacular results.

As I make my way back to them, I overhear Monica saying, “I’m telling you, Jessica. It’s creepy.”

“What’s creepy?” I ask, settling on the arm of the couch, right next to Jessica.

“That homeless guy.” Monica takes a swallow of wine, then places her glass on the end table with a clink.

My body goes rigid. “What guy?”

“It’s nothing. Monica’s overreacting.” Jessica waves her hands like she can erase the entire conversation.

“Not so fast. What guy?” I ask Monica, knowing I won’t get the truth out of Jessica. She’s as danger-prone as ever and just as oblivious to a threat. The best proof of that is the fact that she lives withme.

Monica leans forward, propping her elbow on her knee. “There’s this homeless guy who follows Jessica around. He was outside the restaurant when we had lunch together last week, outside my condo when she came to dinner the week before, and just now, when I walked in, I saw him here, lurking around the corner.”

“Old guy? Young guy?” I ask between clenched teeth, already suspecting her answer.

Monica tilts her head, thinking. “It’s kind of hard to tell with the beard and dirty, long hair, but young, I think. All I know is he has crazy eyes.”

“I’m sure he’s just down on his luck,” Jessica interjects.

---