Page 79 of Deeply Examined

The blond guy caresses her arm and kisses her neck. Monica’s eyes drift closed, and a pleased smile curls her lips. “Are you sure?” she mumbles, her breath hitching as he sucks on her earlobe.

Watching Monica only makes me miss West more, so I reassure her that I’ll be fine and beat a hasty retreat to the door.

Once I’m outside, a warm spring breeze lifts the hair off my face. I let out a relieved sigh and raise my arms to let it wash over me, drying the sweat from being in that packed bar. The scent of flowers drifts over from a planter by the door, carried on the wind. The noise of the city hums around me. Laughter drifts out from the open door, a car drives by with its bass blasting, and in the distance someone plays a saxophone, the timbre mournful. I absorb the sounds, the breeze, the sweet scent. The familiarity of it all soothes me, draining the tension that’s been building all night.

“God, you’re beautiful,” says an all-too-familiar voice from the shadows.

My heart falters, fumbles. I gasp and spin around to see West leaning against the wall of the bar, over by the alley. He’s stunning, wearing neatly pressed slacks and a blue button-down. His dark hair is swept back from his face. His cheeks are hollowed, like he’s lost weight. His eyes are locked on me, his mouth twisted with melancholy and longing.

“You’re like an angel, an apparition with your arms up and your head back. I thought for a minute you were going to cast a spell, to call down the moon or the stars to do your bidding.”

I pause, wondering what’s got into him. It’s not like West to wax poetic.

He continues in that same wistful, melodic way, “Do you know what it was like? Standing out here watching all those men court you? Fawn over you while you smiled up at them? Can you possibly understand what torture that was? How much ithurt?”

Something feral slides into his tone, and the first stirrings of fear rise from the deepest recesses of my brain. The parts that used to run from the wildebeests, the saber-toothed tiger.

“You were watching me?” I ask shakily, already knowing the answer.

He pushes off the wall and stalks my way. “I’malwayswatching you, Jessica.”

Those words should be a red flag. They should make me reach for the pepper spray in my purse. But they don’t.

Instead, they make my breath quicken and my body heat.

He’s reached me now. He holds his hand out to me, his eyes mesmerizing, his scent intoxicating. “Come with me, pretty girl. I need to talk to you.”

Wine swirls through my bloodstream, lowering my inhibitions. I let him lead me to the alley like a lamb to slaughter. The moment we’re cloaked in the shadows, he backs me up against the rough brick wall. The cool surface presses into my spine as his body closes in, warm and solid, a cage I don’t have the strength, or maybe the will, to escape.

“Jess, Jessica. I miss you so much,” he whispers huskily in my ear.

There’s the hint of alcohol on his breath, something smokey like whiskey or bourbon. Fear trickles down my spine. West rarely drinks. He hates to lose control.

“Have—have you been drinking?” I ask.

A sigh whispers over my skin. “This is what you do to me. You drive me to this.” His lips are inches from my neck. Suddenly they’re on me, warm and consuming. He kisses down my shoulder and over my collarbone. My body arches toward him, and I moan.

We shouldn’t…is what my rational mind says, but my body gives it a big fuck you and acts on its own accord. My hands rise and tangle in his hair. Temporarily insane, I pull his mouth up to mine and kiss him. He responds instantly, shifting himself so he’s between my legs, his erection pressed to my core. West licks into my mouth with greedy open kisses. We’re hasty and clumsy, frantic to get closer. Teeth clash, and our noses collide.

“Please, Jess,” West says into my mouth. “Please come home.”

“That’s not my home.” My heart pounds in my ears as his hands roam my body, running over my shoulders, my breasts. “I’m angry at you,” I gasp as he reaches into my shirt and runs a finger over my pebbled nipple. “You tricked me, lied to me.” My sanity frays with each touch. I reach deep inside, try to hold onto my fury. Without conviction, I tell him, “I hate you.”

“Be mad at me, hate me. I don’t care.” His fingers trail down my ribs. “Hate me at breakfast, hate me while you sleep next to me, hate me when I’m deep inside you making you scream. You can hate me all you want, just do it at home. Please.Comehome.”

He unbuttons my pants, pulls down my zipper. I’m paralyzed with desire, unable to stop him.

“Do you want me to beg? Is that what you want? To be on my knees for you?” Shocked, I watch as West slides to the ground, taking my pants down with him. He looks up at me, an expression of pure devotion on his handsome face. “I’ll bow to you, worship you.”

He leans forward and licks between my legs. His tongue expertly lands on my sensitive clit, and I moan so loudly it bounces off the buildings around us. West takes the sound for the encouragement it is. He pulls my legs wider and places his head between my already-wet thighs. His hands reach around to grip my ass as he licks the length of my slit, concentrating extra-long on the front. He sucks on my clit, licks it, and sucks again.

My hands drop to twist into his hair as I guide him to the place that feels the best. I half-scream in pleasure as he draws my clit between his teeth and bites down gently at the same time that he slips two fingers into me. He’s moving, using his fingers to pump into me and his tongue to lap at my clit. I breathe in ragged gasps and groans, my pelvis rocking madly to the fast pace he sets.

A tiny part of my mind warns that this is stupid. We’re in an alley next to a popular bar. I’m naked from the waist down. West is kneeling with his nice slacks on the dirty, trash-strewn ground. Anyone could walk by and see us. We should stop. We’re being completely idiotic.

That’s what I think, but my body doesn’t care. It’s missed him, my beautiful broken boy. Missed his company, his touch. I come alive when he’s with me, like I’ve been living underwater, drowning, the entire time we were apart, and now I can finally breathe.

He’s moving faster, using his entire mouth to rub against me. His tongue probes into my opening, joining with his fingers. My orgasm is a tsunami that washes over my body from head to toe. I scream as I come, a guttural sob of ecstasy. My hands grip West so hard, I’m sure I pull out some hair. Aftershocks rack my body, almost as intense as my orgasm.

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