Page 64 of Deeply Examined

Finally, I look at him, wondering how the star quarterback of our high-school football team turned into this pot-bellied, wispy-haired, pasty-skinned man. When I was a freshman and he was a senior, Kent Wilson had ruled these halls. Many of my cheerleader friends had crushes on him back then, but I had never understood the appeal. He was selfish and mean-spirited, always picking on the smaller, weaker kids. When I think about it, he hasn’t changed. Now he has a job where he’s allowed to wield the power he always craved.

“Sorry, Wilson,” I say, surprised to find I’m not sorry at all. “I have plans with my boyfriend.” I’ve never actually called West my boyfriend in front of him, and I’ve certainly never heard him call me his girlfriend, but given how I’ve stopped my New York job searches and my Chicago apartment hunting I figure that must be what we are. We live together, see each other every day, talk and text constantly. And our nighttime activities…well, they require a level of trust that can only be found in a stable relationship. If we aren’t the definition of dating, then I don’t know what is.

“What about the kids?” Kent whines, wringing his hands together. “You don’t want us to have to cancel the dance, do you?”

That’s how he used to get me. Where my weakness lies, with “the kids.” Kent knows I’d do anything for my students. What he doesn’t understand is that finding my voice in the bedroom has spilled into the rest of my life. It’s those lessons with West that allow me to speak up now.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I snap. The sharpness of my tone makes Kent’s eyes widen. He takes a step back as if my words have assaulted him. “You won’t cancel the dance. Contact the Parent-Teacher Organization or send out a message to the parents. There are lots of families who will want to help out. I’m sure you can find a couple of dads to come in. Honestly, they’ll be more helpful than I would be if you need to break up a fight or separate some couple kissing in the corner.”

“Jessica! I can’t do that. It has to be you. You’re best suited for the job,” he says, confirming my suspicion that this is more about him wantingmethere than him needing a teacher to fill the role.

Monica was right. He really is a little weasel.

I shrug on my jacket and pick up my purse, flinging it over my shoulder. “You know,” I tell him, “I was doing some light reading the other day—going through my work contract—and it specifically states that I only have to do a certain number of hours outside of the regular school day.” I pause to let that sink in, noting how his face flushes red in anger.

Nonchalantly, I say, “I even took the time to count up the hours I’ve worked on things like guard duty, field trips, after-school club monitoring, and you’ll never guess what I discovered!” Sarcasm leaks into my voice. “Turns out I’mwayover the limit for those extra hours. I’ve done more than my fair share, so you’ll have to excuse me, but I need to go. Someone is waiting for me.”

I don’t smile at him or wave like I used to do. I just give Kent a pleasant nod and head to the door, calling over my shoulder, “Have fun at the dance.”

I skip outside to the curb, where my boyfriend waits for me in his fancy sports car, ready to whisk me away for a weekend of fun. Although I love my students—

I love West more.

Adam

A few weeks after we get back from our Michigan vacation, a storm hits. It’s 4:00 a.m. and I’m in bed reading when my room is suddenly flooded with white light, so bright I squint and raise my hand to block the glare. I look out the window just in time to see a jagged spike of lightning followed by ear-bursting thunder, loud enough to make the windows rattle.

On bare feet, I pad to the security room. Rain like this always puts me on edge—I hate how it makes everything blurry, how it obscures the details so I can’t see what’s coming at me—but the condo looks fine. Jessica’s asleep in her bed, and every other room is empty.

I’ve just climbed back into my own bed when the lights give a single flicker and then go out. It’s pitch black, the kind of darkness you’d see from the inside of a coffin. The entire city must be affected because no light comes in through the window. Navy Pier is nowhere to be seen. It’s just…disappeared.

My heart slams in my chest, as my breathing picks up. I flail around, knocking over the crystal bedside lamp. It hits the floor with a loud crash and shatters, tiny shards tinkling as they scatter across the wood floor. Panic sets in.

Jessica.

I need Jessica.

She always makes me feel better.

I yell her name, scream for her, as I fumble with the nightstand drawer. I keep a flashlight there for emergencies like this. The cold metal of it hits my hand and rolls away. I chase it, swearing and yelling. Finally, I get my fingers around it. I click the power button and…nothing. I shake it, hit it with the palm of my hand, and try again, but no luck. It’s dead. The batteries must not be working. I should have replaced them months ago.

Fuck.How could I have been so stupid, so careless?

Grasping the covers on my bed, I bring them up to my chest. My eyes blindly search but find nothing. That’s when the smell hits me mothballs, old clothing, stale air. I’m in the closet again. I’ve done something wrong, been a bad boy. Tears spring to my eyes, as terror fogs my brain. I lose grasp of time, of reality.

“Mommy?”

Jessica

West wakes me, bellowing from downstairs, the sound raw and terrified. Dread seeps, curling around my ribs. It chills me to the bone.

“West?” I call out, on my feet before my eyes have fully opened. I stumble to the door and flick the light switch, but nothing happens. Everything is dark, like someone has placed a blindfold over my eyes. I realize what’s going on. The power is out. Something I’ve only guessed at before becomes much more convincing as I hear the sound of a crash downstairs followed by more desperate yelling.

West is scared of the dark.

That’s why there are so many nightlights in this condo. That’s why he’s always looking up to see if it’s a full moon, why in Michigan he refused when I suggested a nighttime walk.

I have to get to him. Save him.

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