Page 52 of Deeply Examined

Jessica’s eyes bulge when I take the key off my keyring. It’s nothing special, a standard silver key. The kind you can have made at any hardware store. But in this moment, it holds all the weight of Pandora’s box. She knows what it is immediately. Her gaze flies up to mine, her breath catching, when I hand it over to her.

“To the room?” She glances back at me, her green eyes shining with nerves and defiance. Neither of us need to clarify which room. I’ve reviewed the security footage. I know all the times she’s pressed her ear to the door. Even the one time she got on her hands and knees to try to peer through the crack under it. I’d chuckled when I’d watched that, knowing there was nothing she could see from that angle. She clutches the key tight in her hand, and I can see it in her eyes…she wants this, even if she’s afraid of it.

I follow her down the hall to the door leading to what I jokingly like to think of as my “lair.” It’s the place where I hide my darkest desires. As she fits the key into the lock, I lean against the wall and observe her.

Jessica is stunning in the red dress I picked out for her. It clings to every luscious curve of her body, lines and swells I itch to trace with my tongue. Her hair is messy from our tryst in the bathroom, with tangled curls that tumble down the nape of her neck. There’s a love mark, a hickey, right beneath her left ear. It’s so small that it would be easy to miss, but I smile when I see it. I like her this way, mussed with evidence of me all over her. Physical proof she’s mine.

Mine.

I’d been so furious when I saw Dylan’s arm around her. My brain had red-lined the way it had with Brad at her apartment. If she hadn’t stopped me, I would’ve fought Dylan, right there in front of my colleagues. All the rage I push down every day would’ve bubbled up to the surface. A volcano of anger that I wanted so badly to pour out on him.

That hadn’t happened, because of her. Jessica’s voice had penetrated through the fog of my anger. It had calmed me, stopped me from making a mistake I would have regretted for years to come. I’m used to protecting her, but in that moment,sheprotectedme. It blew me away. I can’t remember any other time that someone had bothered to stop me from self-destruction.

New feelings rise in me, ones I’m not familiar with.

Gratitude.

Trust.

It makes me want to do something for Jessica. Something special to repay her. So I give her the thing I know she wants.

The room.

I just hope she understands one simple fact.

Be careful what you wish for.

Jessica

The key turns smoothly in the lock. My heart thumps with a combination of nervous anticipation and excitement. I’ve waited months to see what’s in here.

The door swings wide to reveal a large windowless room with stark white walls. I step through the threshold and enter. The air inside this room feels colder, sharper. Directly across from me is a bank of TV screens. Black and white images, slightly grainy, flicker across their surfaces. I step closer to observe them. Each one shows a different room, all of which I recognize.

There’s the kitchen, the living room, the office…my bedroom.

I suck in a breath and spin to West.

“You’ve been watching me!”

He doesn’t even blink. “Every day.”

“What?!” I think back to all the times I dressed in that room and, even worse, when I masturbated under the covers thinking about him. Did I say his name as I came?

How humiliating.

I look over the monitors again. “Do you have cameras in the toilet too? Do you watch people there?”

“No. Those are the only unmonitored rooms.”

I cast my voice high and sarcastic. “Gee. How nice of you.”

He doesn’t flinch. He just stands there, still as a statue. I drag in a shuddering breath and try to control my outrage.

“Why would you need this?” I flap my hand at the security monitors. “Before I arrived, you lived here alone, right? And you already had these?”

He nods confirmation.

I turn to the screens, where nothing stirs. “What are you watching?” I ask, baffled. “This building is secure. You have a doorman downstairs, for fuck’s sake.”

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