Page 15 of Deeply Examined

I almost hate her for it.

Sometimes, I feel resentment rise like bile in my throat—at this power she exerts over me without even trying. She invades my mind when she’s not around, distracts me when I should focus. I want to punish her for that. Put her over my knee and spank that pert little ass until she learns her place.

Other times, the thought of her fills me with something… lighter. A feeling I don’t recognize, definitely don’t trust.

That’s dangerous.

She’s dangerous.

With one day left until I see her again, I act on a whim and place an order.

A gift.

I want to see her expression when she shows it to me.

To see if she understands what it means.

Jessica

Early Friday morning, before I leave for work, a knock on my front door makes me jump. Who could it be? For a brief moment my pulse leaps, hoping it’shim, but quickly I crush that idea. Dr. West said 7:00 p.m., and he doesn’t seem like the kind of man to change his mind.

My heart sinks. It’s probably Brad, my annoying downstairs neighbor. We went on a date once. Justonetime. He had too much to drink and groped my chest on the way home. I shoved him away—said I never wanted to see him again. That should have been the end of it, but it wasn’t. Brad’s been hounding me ever since. Phone calls, text messages, flowers left on my doorstep. I brace myself for another uncomfortable conversation and open my door.

It’s not Brad though.

Instead, two burly men stand on my porch.

“Ma’am,” the larger one greets me, tipping his head. “We’ve got your delivery.”

My hand flutters to my chest. “Oh, there must be a mistake. I didn’t order anything.”

The smaller guy shoves a delivery notice in my face. I take it, wrinkling my nose at the dirty fingerprints smeared across the paper. Squinting, I read the tiny print. There it is, my name and address at the top and under it reads, “king bed.” I’m about to open my mouth to protest that this is all a big mistake when I see that under purchaser it says one word.West. My jaw snaps shut, and my eyes widen.

While I stand reading the receipt, the delivery men barge into my apartment, carting large cardboard boxes in various sizes and shapes.

I point to the paper and ask the bigger man, “Who exactly bought this…bed?”

He peers at what I hold out and then shoots me a look like I must be stupid. “It says right there, lady.” A stubby finger points. “Someone named West bought it.”

I gape, shocked by this turn of events.

Dr. West is buying me gifts now? Abedof all things?

Annoyed by my speechlessness, the man asks in a gruff tone, “Where do you want it?”

I lead him to my small bedroom. A king-sized bed will take up almost all the space.

Not wanting to get in the way, I retreat to my tiny kitchen and let the men work. It doesn’t take long before the bigger man, who must be the one in charge, brings me paperwork to sign. “We’re all done.” He glances at his watch like I’ve somehow put them behind schedule with my questions.

After they’ve left, I creep to my bedroom, almost scared to know what Dr. West has bought me. When I see it, tears prick the back of my eyes because it’sbeautiful.

When I was a child, I liked to think of myself as a princess. I would dream that I could ride a unicorn and that I had a gorgeous pink bedroom with a four-poster bed. In reality, my parents were poor teachers who could barely afford the small house I grew up in. They let me paint my room pink, but that was the closest my fantasies ever came to reality.

The bed before me is the bed from those little-girl dreams. It’s white with twirling posts of wood at all four corners that rise almost as high as my ceiling. The posts are connected by pieces of wood that form a rectangular shape. There are even gauzy curtains hanging from the rails. They’re on sliding hooks so you can pull the curtains and close off the entire bed, making it into a tiny room of its own.

I don’t know what to make of it. This generous gift from this strange man. It’s the last thing I expected.

On my walk to the bus stop, I make a hurried call to Monica to inform her of this new development.

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