Page 74 of The Love Trick

With a sigh, I rake my fingers through my hair and head for the front door. This whole party thing has no appeal without Addy. She’s the one who keeps me social. She’s the person I lean on all the time, so why am I so scared of being romantic with her?

“Hey, man,” Kade greets, swinging open the front door. “You look… You look like we need to talk.” He suddenly blocks the entrance and steps outside with me. “It didn’t go well with Addy, did it?”

I shake my head, unable to conjure up the words to explain how I’m feeling—which has become an unfortunate recurring theme.

His hand lands on my shoulder. “Dude, just take a minute and breathe. We’ve got all night.”

Nodding, I start to feel a rush of unwanted grief roll through my body.

She has no idea how bad it hurt to be told we can’t be friends anymore.

Ifthisis anything close to heartbreak, then I don’t want it.

“It’s all good.” Kade waits with me, his hand on my shoulder as I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to breathe and find a way to explain what happened.

Finally, after a few minutes, I lift my head, unwanted moisture in my eyes. “She told me we can’t be friends anymore—and I know it’s all my fault because I kissed her, but I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

Kade frowns. “And did she saywhyyou two can’t be friends anymore?”

“Because she fell in love with me—likelovelove. And … I really care about her. I do. But she doesn’t understand that I can’t do the romantic thing with her…”

“Because you’re scared of losing her, right? But now, it sounds like you lost her anyway.” Kade tilts his head, trying to understand me. “Dude, I don’t get it. You don’t ever cry, and here you are in tears over Addy. So clearly, you love her, too. Why not just be with her?”

“How could Ibewith her and not mess it up? I’ve already messed up our friendship. She was my only real family and I lost her, just like I’ve lost every semblance of family I’ve ever had in my life. I mess everything up.”

Kade gives me an embarrassingly sympathetic look. “Listen, man,” he starts, his tone gentle. “I get that you’re scared. And you have good reason to be, you’ve been through a lot. But … I think you need to give yourself a little more credit.”

I shake my head. “I don’t know, man.”

“Well I do. You’re a good person, Blaze. And a really great friend, not just to me, but to our whole team. And you’ve been there for Addy for over a decade. You two are practically an old married couple already. You just need to add in some kissing and whatever else, andbam.”

“But now it’s too late,” I say quietly. “She said I broke her heart, and Idid.”

“You also broke your own heart.”

Before I can respond, Dylan and Cam slip out into the front yard, laughing. Dylan catches sight of us and jogs over, holding out a beer to me.

“You look like you need this.”

I take it from him. “Thanks.”

“So, what’s going on?” Cam asks.

“He and Addy broke up.” Kade proceeds to fill my teammates in on everything that happened.

“I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to hurt her.”

“Just go tell her you’re sorry,” Cam says quietly. “I mean, if I were in her shoes, I’d want an apology. Nila broke my heart at one point, and she made up for it, you know? I know she was going through some things, and she wasn’t sure if she could commit. It was scary for her—and I think you’re in the same place.”

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t go running to her if you don’t know for sure that a relationship is really what you want,” Kade adds. “An apology followed by ‘Hey, let’s try to be friends’ isn’t going to go over well. It’s not going to change the fact that she alreadysaid she can’t be ‘just friends’ anymore. It’s too painful for her.”

I run my hands over my face. “You guys confuse me.” I groan. “I think I’m just gonna go home and sleep on it tonight. This is a disaster. Plus, her birthday is coming up, which makes this whole thing even worse.”

“Just take it one day at a time,” Dylan says. “Let us know if we can do anything for you.”

“Okay,” I mutter. “Night.” My shoes are quiet on the pavement as I make my way back to my Jeep. Every ounce of me wants to drive back to Addy’s house, beat on her door, and tell her that I’m such a freaking idiot.

But then what?