Page 69 of The Love Trick

My feet pound the treadmill as I try to grapple with thewhat-ifs.I mean, Addy and I promised each other that we would always be friends. This counts, right? This has to count. I’ll just have to tell her, once again, that I’m sorry for kissing her—for getting lost in those romantic feelings I have for her.

Feelings I’ve always had.

I just lost control of them for a few moments, and I can explain that to her. I can. I can do it. She’ll understand …right?

I smash the stopbutton and slow down before hopping off the treadmill and heading to the locker room. My teammates have long since left the gym, all of them having plans for the day. I usually have plans, too, but ever since Addy started avoiding me, my life has gotten weird.

And I’m fixing it tonight.

When I reach the locker room, I towel off before changing into a pair of joggers and a T-shirt to make the drive home. I down my protein shake on the way out, noticing that the mid-day sun has sunk low in the sky now. My Converse thud softly against the pavement as I make my way to my Jeep, and then climb inside.

I start the engine, letting the air blow in my face for a few minutes before I pull up Addy’s name. I take a deep breath, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. But then I bypass it and just hit the callbutton. No more running around. I need to make things right.

The phone rings multiple times before hitting her voicemail. I let out a sigh and call her a second time—just on the off chance that she couldn’t get to it.

“Hello?” she says on the second ring.

“Hey,” I breathe out, suddenly nervous. “What’re you up to?”

“Um, I’m shopping with my mom right now,” she says, her tone light—and incredibly indifferent. “What’s up with you?”

I swallow hard. “I was thinking we should meet up tonight, and not just to shoot the breeze or whatever. I think it’s time for us to both be honest with each other. I don’t know what’s going on, exactly, but we need to talk.”

“Ah.” She chuckles wryly. “So, you mean you want toclear the airlike last time? Do you remember what happened when we did that?”

I cringe. “Yeah, obviously I know what happened. That’s exactly why we need to do this for real, Addy. I want to know where you’re at, and you need to know where I’m at. What happened in front of your mom was horrible.”

“You mean, embarrassing?”

“You lied about me having practice.”

“And you kissed me when you didn’t mean it,” she sneers, her voice hitting a cord deep in my chest. Sheishurt. I close my eyes. “Just meet me tonight, and we can work all this out, okay? Things between us have gotten so far sideways; we have to stop this before we derail and end up hating each other.”

She’s quiet for a few moments. “You’re right. Just text me when and where, and I’ll be there. We’ll figure this out.”

“Okay,” I say, relief filling my voice. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you,” Addy says, hanging up the phone before I can say our usual ‘love you.’ I drop the phone onto my console and throw my Jeep in reverse. My mind suddenly spins. I have to make sure that I handle this delicately.

I wish I had a dad to call for advice. Or any real family, for that matter.

The thought hits like a freight train right to my chest. I stop before pulling out of the parking lot, needing a moment to compose myself. I have no idea what I’m doing. I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling that familiar old anxiety boiling up in my chest.

Now’s the time I’d always call Addy…

But I can’t.

I can’t call her for advice aboutherself.

Ugh.

Add that to the list of reasons why we can’t risk our friendship…

A friendship I need to do everything in my power to fix tonight.

I force a long, deep breath and steady my now-racing heart before backing out of the parking spot and heading home. Along the way, I call Addy’s favorite rooftop bar and offer a generous lump sum of cash to the owner so I can rent out the whole place for the night. I need a chance to talk to her without any eyes on us.

I need her to know how much she matters to me.

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