Page 59 of Ms. V's Hot Girl Summer

“I love you too, more than you can ever imagine.”

“Te queremos mucho, Ma,” they both replied, contrition finally evident in their tones.

My heart ached for them; this was a lesson that would stay with them for a long time, but it was necessary. I wanted to teach them boundaries, communication, and respect so they would never, ever experience hardships in their personal relationships. Maybe they wouldn’t ever be in their airport with a broken heart, yearning for a different ending.

The airport brimmed with travelers going back to their homes, everyone with way less energy than when we arrived a few days ago. As I navigated the crowd, my phone vibrated, and I pulled it to hear Milton’s raspy voice.

“Hey, you. You about here yet?” he asked.

This man. Single-minded focus, I would give him that. I hadn’t wanted to break up with him via phone, but I had no recourse now. His insistence on me going to the Poconos was feeling more self-serving by the minute. And to be honest, we were never in a relationship to start with. I’d made castles in my mind of what things could be with this man because he was stable and successful, but this wasn’t it for me.

I explained everything to him. How I’d come here thinking I was going to the cheerleading tournament and everything that transpired after. I was honest because it wouldn’t be fair to break up with him with a lie. And I didn’t want there to be any confusion as to where I stood in regard to my feelings and needs moving forward.

“So you can’t make it tonight?” he said after everything, after me telling him about Orlando and our escapades, how I had grown to care for him during the time I’d known him. How I realized I didn’t want a staid, full-of-responsibility partnership. I wanted that, but I wanted more.

“That’s all you can ask me after everything I said?” I responded.

“Well, I know you are not my partner, but I mean, you could do me this last solid before we part ways?” Milton’s arrogance dripped all over his words. The passive-aggressiveness was all I needed to say a firm no, goodbye and delete his number from my phone.

All that time I spent building this man up in my brain, and it ended with such a womp womp. I mean, after sex with him, I should have known. I placed my phone back in my purse and let out a sigh of relief for the paths left behind.

Where they needed to be.

By the time I reached the gate, a melancholy had settled on my shoulders. For so long, I had been working toward a goal, and now…

My phone vibrated in my purse, and I pulled it out, expecting to see a text from Miranda or the twins. It wasn’t them.

It was Orlando.

A lesser proud woman would admit to palpitations and shortness of breath, mixed with a rush of warmth at the sight of the text message he’d sent me. But they were not like me, proud. Bolstering myself, I read the text message several times, the words eroding my determination and sparking hope for a tomorrow that had disappeared after our conversation last night.

Orlando: I know you left earlier than your flight. I thought we’d have time to chat once more, but… I get it. I just wanted to say… Fuck. My fingers are shaking. I’m nervous.

I do have a lot going on.

But I know what I want.

I want you.

I lost you with my immature move, but I needed you to know. I fell in love this weekend. In a weekend. I never thought that would be possible, but here we are. Is it puppy love? Yeah, maybe, but I know it can grow. You and I can grow together. I heard all you said and damned if you were right, but where you made a mistake is saying I was still a child. I am not. Not anymore because I choose to say what’s inside, and I choose to ask for help when I need it, and I choose to set my boundaries and expectations like the grown man that I am. Please give me a chance. Please.

If this boy didn’t stop, I would end up crying in this airport. The airline people stood at the counter assisting standby travelers. Changing my flight now might get me some additional money in my credit for a future flight. Changing my flight now would get me back to Ofele and next to Orlando to support him. He’d asked for help last night, and I was so in my feelings about my needs that I missed that. All this time, I wanted him to have the support that he gave other people, and at the first chance, I ran, not because of only him, but because of me too.

But we both deserved another chance, we both deserved the love we’ve been searching for for so long.

And with that, I made my decision.

It was the easiest decision I’d ever made.

TWENTY-SIX

Orlando

The ringtone on my phone did not sound like the alarm I’d set before crashing in bed, my head pounding at the turn of events. Not wanting to drive myself wild with thoughts, I let the rum and the day’s festivities lull me into a deep, fitful sleep. The sheets were all moist and tangled up around me as I pulled my phone from the nightstand and answered the call.

“I thought you were back today,” Melo said with no greeting.

“Call me back when you have some manners.” I hung up and went back to bed.

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