Page 39 of The Best Wrong Move

Most of all, I need to free myselffrommyself.Me. My biggest critic of all.

It’s okay to not get this right.

“Okay, okay.” I laugh, not caring anymore if Rex and Juju see me fall when they head out for cocktails on their deck.

I don’t want to be afraid anymore.

I want to get messy. I want to make mistakes.

Dom races into the surf, diving head first under the first oncoming wave. Watching his joy while he plays in the water — like he doesn’t have a care in the world — it’s contagious.

The gravity of anything heavy back on land dissolves in this turquoise slice of paradise. I race after him, suddenly buoyant and unmoored as we paddle out into the ocean together.

Chapter 26

We surf until after the sun dips low across the horizon. If you can call what I did surfing. I got a few good rides in, though most of the time I teetered off the board before it hit the shore. I didn’t even notice that Rex and Juju came out on the balcony, until I heard Juju cheering for me when I finally managed to ride a long wave in — standing up all the way before gracefully jumping off on the sand. I did a little bow toward the two figures on the deck in the distance, twirling back to the water at the end and running in with my board under my arm to catch another.

The last time I felt this uninhibited and free I was just a kid.

When did that change?

Dom stayed in the shallower water with me, even though he could surf circles around me in the deeper water if he wanted.

When I needed a break, I’d straddle my board on top of the shallow end and watch him. The way the outline of his body turned into a silhouette as the sun sank low enough to cast blinding sunlight across his body. I can’t remember the last time I saw anyone this happy. His laughter ringing out each time he rides in, the definition in his hips and arms making my heart vibrate — like it takes everything in me just to stay silent and still.

I, on the other hand, became an expert at popping back out of the foamy sea so I wouldn’t get demolished by the next oncoming wave, which I consider to be excellent progress.

Dom was right. The ocean was calling me, and she wasn’t going to relent. I needed her today more than I thought I might. Getting out of my head and out of that townhouse was the best thing I could have done for myself.

I should make this a morning ritual.

“I might turn this into a hobby while I’m here.” I pick up a handful of dry, hot sand before letting it slowly drain through my fingers. Juju and Rex are still sitting on the balcony behind us, two little figures hunched in the distance. Knowing we have an audience has made us both more brazen, sliding back into the role as two actors who are openly falling for each other.

We’re settled back on the sandy shoreline now, our boards resting on dry land beside us. I run my hands across the silky white grains, like pillows of powdered sugar strewn across a hot skillet. I pinch more of it and strain it out between my fingers. It feels like a silk scarf tracing along my skin.

The sun is well on its way to disappearing, casting long shadows across the scattered trees and swaying palms. It sets early here, so we don’t have to stay up late to catch the final rays — an epic light show of pinks and golds each evening. The ocean has started to calm down too, barely lapping against the shore now. Like she knows it’s almost closing time. Time for everyone to take a moment to enjoy the sunset while being gently lulled to sleep by her song.

Other families and couples, old and young, are settling into the soft, sugary beach as far as I can see in both directions, ready for Mother Nature’s final gift of the day.

I’m struck by the notion that we’re all inexplicably drawn to this as humans. The water, the sun. Casting our eyes outward across the gentle waves, as we slow down to participate in one of the world’s oldest rituals.

Everything about this place is pure magic.

I’m overcome with the same feelings I had last night at Cliff’s.

Happiness.

Peace.

Clarity.

Like I’m meant to be here. Like I’d repeat every humiliating thing that happened to me to bring me to this exact moment. I belong, without even trying, which is possibly the best type of belonging I’ve ever felt.

I don’t even care that my scalp feels like it has a thousand grains of sand smashed into it, or that I’ve wiped away any last shred of mascara I had on this morning. In the golden glow of the sunset, I feel beautiful — raw — and, more than anything else, alive. More alive than I might have ever felt.

“You enjoyed yourself that much?” Dom’s eyes look like soft green pools in the molten sunlight cast across his face. I could get lost in them forever if I’m not careful.

“Yeah, I really did. Thanks for getting me out of my head today.” I steal a peek at his lips, wondering what it would be like to kiss him right now. Salty and sweet and delicious.

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