Page 52 of Double Play

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, swallowing the thick lump in my throat as they all stare at me silently. “I’ll pay for all of this.” I wave my hand at the damage, even more embarrassed when I see how bad it is. The leg of the entry table is broken off, and the glass vase that had been sitting on top is in a million shattered pieces at our feet. Red roses are scattered across the floor, with a large puddle of water surrounding the wreckage.

“It’s fine, Hawk,” Monroe replies, a mask of sympathy slipping over her shocked expression. I’m not sure how much she knows, but I can tell it’s enough to understand that this fight was more than just a heated disagreement.

“We’re going to go home,” Arden says, stepping forward and wrapping Monroe in a tight hug, then doing the same to Riggs before glancing up the stairs. Her eyes well with tears, and I know she’s conflicted, because so am I. None of this feels natural. “Will you please make sure he’s okay?”

He gives her a soft smile. “If there’s anyone Jackson needs to hear from right now, it’s Tanner. I promise he’s in good hands.”

She nods, turning my way and taking me by the hand. We quietly step into the hallway, neither of us saying a word as we make our way home, unsure of how to move forward when so much devastation continues to fall on our path.

FORTY-FOUR

JACKSON

“Fuck,”I say, pacing the guest room as Tanner sits on the bed. I just met the guy thirty minutes ago, and now he’s saddled with calming me down after whatever the hell that shitshow was. I don’t even know what the fuck I was thinking, hauling off and punching Hawk like I did. Every word that came out of his mouth was the truth, even if it sucked to hear.

“Want to talk about it?” he asks. I pause, a dull ache throbbing in my chest at the thought of reliving it all. As if he can sense my unease, he softens his tone. “It might help to get it out. It certainly can’t hurt to have a completely unbiased opinion.”

I sigh, my shoulders slumping in defeat as I plop down in the accent chair across the room from where he’s perched on the edge of the mattress. He’s right—I’m obviously not doing well with trying to work through this alone, and since my best friend is so ingrained in the situation, I haven’t been able to talk to him like I normally would.

“I’ve been in love with Arden since high school. It took me a while to figure it all out because I was young and dumb, but by the time I came around, she went from being my best friend to my stepsister. When our parents got married, I backed off, and I thought I was over her—until she got drafted to a pro volleyball team here in Florida and ended up living with me and Hawk.

“I knew pretty early on that they’d be good together, but it wasn’t until I actually saw it with my own eyes that I realized I’d never stop wanting her for myself.” He listens, leaning back onto his palms quietly with not even a hint of judgment in his expression as I continue.

“One night, I walked in on them while they were having sex, and I just…couldn’t tear myself away. I was mortified, but instead of telling me to leave, they invited me in. As weird as it should’ve been, the two of us sharing her just felt so natural—so we agreed to keep doing it.

“We had planned to tell our parents about it a couple weeks ago, but when my mom—who’s also Arden’s agent—found out, she made us aware of how negatively this could affect her career. My head immediately went to the worst-case scenario, thinking about how she could lose her job simply because she was in a relationship with two men. I fucking panicked, breaking it off with her even though she sat there begging me to work through it with them. I thought I was protecting her, but at this point, I don’t know what’s right anymore.”

He stays silent for a moment, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees as he spins his wedding ring around his finger. His eyes are fixed on the gold band, and he looks like he’s being transported to another place entirely. Just as I’m getting ready to fill the deafening silence, he takes a long, slow breath—and then speaks.

“When I was in college, I made the worst decision of my life. A girl that I had no business falling for gave me her heart, and all she wanted was mine in return. Little did she know, she already had it, but I was too stupid and stubborn to say the words out loud. Instead, I told her she meant nothing to me, and I left her to live the dream I knew she had always wanted.” He looks up at me, his eyes shining with emotion. I can almost feel his past heartbreak as he goes on, telling me more of the story.

“I spent five years beating myself up for leaving the way I did. I don’t know what made me decide it was time to face her again, but when I finally did, nothing could’ve prepared me for it.” His brows pull tight, and he swallows, pain washing over his expression. “Seeing her with another man’s ring on her finger—was like someone took a branding iron right to my heart. I knew I fucked up before then, but I never actually felt like it might kill me until that moment. Are you truly ready to experience that? Because I can tell you that no matter how much you think you are, nothing compares to the reality of knowing you lost her. I’m telling you firsthand that you don’t want to do this, Jackson. It’s not worth the agony you’ll both feel in the end.”

I know he’s right. The longer I go without touching her, and the more space I put between us, the less my reasons for doing so make sense. First, it was Lark calling me out about what I’d do if the roles were reversed. Then, it was Arden’s words when she told me I’d always have a piece of her heart, and that she’d never be able to give herself fully to Hawk. But now that I’m seeing the vulnerability and hopelessness in Tanner’s eyes as he relives his past, it’s so fucking real—and it’s clearer than ever that the road I’m headed down isn’t one I can bear to be on forever.

“What did you do?” I choke out, desperate for his advice.

He huffs an amused laugh, shaking his head in what almost looks to be disbelief. “I crawled, man. I got on my knees, begged for her forgiveness, and I fuckingcrawled.” He pauses, a satisfied grin curling the corner of his mouth. “Then I married the girl before she realized she was entirely too good for me.”

My eyes go wide, and I blink rapidly trying to process everything he just said. The girl he was talking about is Riggs’ sister, Grace. He lost her for five years before making things right, and by the sound of it, it brought nothing but anguish for them both. I don’t want that for Arden, Hawk, and myself.

“I have to go,” I say, shooting up to my feet. “Thank you, Tanner.”

He stands, extending a hand between us for me to shake. I take it, then pull him in for a hug, grateful that this man, who I barely know, just brought me so much clarity through his vulnerable admissions. “Go get her,” he replies with a sly smile. “Good luck with the groveling.”

And with that, I’m gone—running as fast as my feet will take me back to our condo so I can do whatever it takes to right my wrongs.

FORTY-FIVE

ARDEN

“Baby, I’m fine,”Hawk says, leaning against the counter in his en suite bathroom as I press a cool washcloth to his cheek. There’s a small spot where the skin is broken, and shades of red and purple are beginning to bloom to life as it continues to swell. Just looking at it has me fuming with rage.

“I can’t believe he hit you,” I say, ignoring his attempt to placate me. “What the fuck was he thinking?” Picking up the bottle of peroxide that sits next to the sink, I pour some onto the terrycloth before pressing it to the wound. He flinches at the contact, and I soften my touch, looking at him with sympathetic eyes. “I’m sorry about all of this.”

He reaches out, taking my chin between his thumb and forefinger before tilting my head to meet his gaze. “What do you have to be sorry about? None of this is your fault.” His expression is full of sincerity, and I honestly can’t believe this is the same emotionally distant man I desperately wanted to know when I moved here. His walls were so high, I never thought he’d let me in, but here we are, holding one another up through one of the most emotional experiences I’ve ever endured.

I sigh, my chin quivering as my shoulders curl inward. I’m so full of shame over this entire situation, and the fight at Riggs and Monroe’s really put things into perspective for me. “You can say it’s not, but we both know you and Jacks wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me coming in and fucking things up. You had the most genuine, beautiful friendship, and now you’re beating the shit out of each other because I came between you. You should be mad atmeright now, not him.” Tears fill my eyes, and I fidget with the cloth in my lap. But he keeps his hold firm, refusing to let me look away.

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