Page 49 of Strawberry Moon

“He’s a Sterling,” I finished.

That was enough to throw a great big pile of shit on any happiness I could hope for.

Barbara scoffed. “That doesn’t matter a bit.”

I blinked.

“You’re a McKesson, sure. And a Grove. And a whole bunch of other things, but not one of them is the whole of you. Is Archer anything like his granddaddy?”

My stomach clenched hard at the thought. Too fast, I was shaking my head. That bastard had tried to take him out of this world. Had shot him.

A growl rumbled in my chest, but Barbara was quick to catch it. Her fingers clasped the curve of my shoulder hard enough to make a case that she was the biggest, baddest alpha in the room. She had it handled—well, as much as anyone needed to handle that dead son of a bitch.

“You like him? Archer?” she asked gently.

I frowned up at her. Answering that felt like a betrayal.

But Barbara was a sharp woman, and I didn’t need to say anything for her to get it.

“Hon”—her thumb dragged soothingly over my neck—“Lily’s gone. You can hold love in your heart for her forever, but that’s not enough. Not for living.”

I took a deep breath. It shook in my chest, and heat flooded my face. So much for keeping it together.

“I don’t want to let her down.”

“And Archer?”

I swallowed. Truth was, I didn’t want to let him down either.

“He doesn’t need me.”

“You silly wolf, you don’t have a damn clue what anybody needs till you ask them. Has he said he doesn’t need you?”

I sighed, glancing toward the rumpled pillowcase beneath my head. “No.”

“He sure seemed to need you there on that run though.”

The heat pulsing in my body was too much. I groaned, squeezing my eyes tight shut. It was the wolf, right there, agreeing with every word she said. Archer needed us. The pack needed us.

I forced him down.

Barbara tutted.

“Seven years, you haven’t been able to trust your wolf. Without Lily, it made you edgy, angry, dangerous. But just because you couldn’t trust it then doesn’t mean you can’t trust it now. It’s part of you. Not all bad, and not all good, but doing the best it can. You think the best you can do is stay up here in your room and sulk?”

I grumbled, unwilling to admit there might be anything more for me out there—anything I might hope for. Because wanting Archer and losing him? That’d make me worse than ever. I might never recover.

Barbara got up, but when she did, she stuck out her hand for me. “Come on. We’re gonna visit Lily, and you’re gonna tell her about your man. If after that, you still think my sweet girl would want anything other than you to find a way to be happy—if you can look me in the eyes and say Lily wouldn’t want this—then I’ll leave it be. Let you sulk away your happy ending. But I think we both know what Lily wanted for you.”

Unsure as ever, I took her hand and let her pull me up, then shoved my legs into some old jeans.

Thing was, she was right. I didn’t need to talk to Lily at her grave to know more than anything, she’d want me to be happy.

And refusing to even give it a shot? Well, that was a worse betrayal of her memory than falling for Archer, and she’d have boxed my ears given half a shot. Stubborn, she was, just like her ma.

34

Archer

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