Page 29 of Wolf Lost

Simple Man

They finished work early on the afternoon of the full moon. The chairs were all restained, drying, and all that was left was to reupholster their seats, something Dez could have done in his sleep, bad hand or no. It wasn’t like he could hurt himself too badly with a staple gun.

Gavin had decided they required red meat for the full moon, so he’d suggested they go out for steak, even though Gavin rarely ate meat since their last mission in Afghanistan. With all the physical labor of the previous few days, Dez could have eaten drywall, but steak sounded better, and everyone else was enthusiastic about it.

Sawyer had been right too. They needed to start making their own traditions. Sure, they were werewolves, but they were nothing like any pack Ash or Sawyer knew, and there was no point in pretending they were.

When Sawyer had said they could run in their fur, something deep in Dez had thrilled at the idea, and his heart had beat faster. Maybe that was what it meant to be a werewolf.

A tiny part of him had always hoped that when he finally managed to turn into a wolf properly, it would heal his leg. He didn’t have a logical reason for thinking it was possible, but in the end, it didn’t matter.

Ash said most people turned for the first time on a full moon. He didn’t have experience with bitten wolves, just children, but it made sense that the two would be similar.

They were only starting to come into their own as wolves, and the pull was stronger as the full moon approached. It was always there, that slight tug in the back of his mind, reminding him of his connection to the moon if he started to feel untethered. For those days around the full moon it tugged harder, and his instincts were stronger.

Gavin seemed to be nervous about it, but Dez loved the way it called to his senses. It was like Sawyer. Something about falling into the man’s orbit pulled at his new instincts as much as his old ones, and that was a first since he’d been bitten. He’d found other men attractive in the past few months, but none of them had ever called to those new instincts. None of them had ever been strong enough, or smelled quite right, or given him that cheeky grin.

Maybe Dez should have been more nervous about giving in to his new instincts, but the stronger Sawyer pulled, the less he cared to pull away. There was something freeing about being a wolf. Like maybe all those human expectations he failed at—being happy and cheerful and outgoing—they weren’t demanded of a werewolf. Maybe for the first time in his life, he was okay exactly as he was.

Including his leg. Maybe even his hand.

Sawyer didn’t act like he cared about Dez’s disabilities. Why should Dez let them hold him back?

Given the wealth of fiction about werewolves, and how it depicted their behavior on the full moon, Dez had expected to be irrationally angry. He’d been prepared for small, petty fights over things like who was hogging the best seat and who got the biggest slice of pizza.

Instead, it was like that lull before a mission. They were all keyed up, sure, but it was nerves and the expectation that something was coming, not anger.

Hell, there was actually some excitement, unlike when they’d been trying to prepare themselves for coming violence. Ash had been clear that the full moon wasn’t dangerous. That it was basically a monthly werewolf holiday.

After finishing the biggest steak on the menu and following it up with chocolate cake, Dez was somehow still hungry. He ignored it, and they drove back to the house. They were taking turns telling Sawyer the best stories from their army training, which ranged from scrubbing toilets with toothbrushes at three in the morning, to getting smashed with a drill sergeant who had proceeded to relate his fond dream of being a drag queen.

Dez hoped the guy had figured it out. The world could use more drag queens.

Without discussing their plans, they poured through the house and straight out onto the back porch when they got home. When they got there, Ash started stripping out of his clothes.

The guy had never had an ounce of modesty, something Dez struggled with regularly in himself, silly as it was. Big strong alpha werewolf, embarrassed of his body. The leg didn’t look that bad, all things considered, it was just his repressed Midwestern childhood holding him back.

“Okay, so changing,” Ash said in the voice he used when he was trying to be an authority, but still a little unsure of himself. “It’s like any skill. It’s hard the first time or two, but after a while, it’s second nature.”

“But how do you do it?” Gavin asked. His voice was soft, and there was a weak quality in it that Dez worried about. “Is there a trick?”

Ash shook his head. “I wish. I’d give it to you in a second. You just kind of have to... let go, and let the wolf take over.”

Sawyer grinned as he started shucking his own clothes, even as he shivered. Dez tried very hard not to stare at that. “You say it like there’s a wolf inside you, like a whole separate animal with its own thoughts and opinions.”

“There isn’t?” Gavin sat down in one of their Adirondack chairs, making no move to strip out of his clothes. “I mean, Ash is always talking about his wolf, and sometimes in my head it feels like—” He cut off and shook his head. “You know. Wild. Out of control.”

Still grinning, Sawyer nodded. “Isn’t it the best?”

Poor kid had no idea how Gavin’s uptight soul worked.

A crackling sound drew Dez’s attention back to Ash, who was rolling his neck, vertebrae popping. For a moment, he’d been worried that changing into a wolf was—

It was so fast. Like one of the CGI effects in one of those werewolf movies, only smoother and quicker. It looked painless and had none of the sinister slant they always put on it for television. Ash simply dropped onto four light canine feet and looked up at them expectantly. Like it was so simple.

Dez kind of wanted to smack him, but he refrained. Instead, he leaned his cane against the closest chair and started stripping.

“Think you can?” Gavin asked.

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