Page 37 of Wolf Lost

“Sawyer needs to feel totally safe,” Ash told him matter-of-factly. “And no wolf has ever felt that safe in a hotel room, with the smell of strangers screwing all over the sheets.”

“Well gee, Asher, that makes me want to go to a hotel for sure,” Gavin shot back.

As they got to the door, Ash looked back at them, eyes still wide and nervous. He leaned into Gavin, and in a stage whisper anyone in the house could hear, he said, “Sawyer’s going into heat. He needs to be, like, alone. Or alone with Dez.”

Gavin shot Sawyer a concerned look, and Ash a mildly annoyed one. “Can’t we just stay in our rooms?”

“You want to spend the next forty-eight hours straight listening to them have athletic, sweaty sex all over the house?”

Gavin blanched and opened the front door himself.

“We need to build a guest house,” was the last thing Sawyer heard as the door closed behind them.

20

Hurts So Good

“Athletic, sweaty sex?” Dez asked, his voice gritty and dry in his throat. “I’m all for celebrating, but aren’t you tired at all?”

Sawyer fell back against him and looked up through his blond lashes. “Nope. Not tired. But sex can wait.” He blushed and looked away. “Or we could, you know, not. If you don’t want to.”

“Why the hell would I not want to?” Dez struggled to imagine anything that would make him not want to fuck Sawyer, but he suspected it was Sawyer’s self-loathing talking.

Sawyer flushed, which was a hell of a feat when he was already pink from head to toe with the increased heart rate of his... affliction? Somehow, that didn’t feel like the right word. Sawyer had said it wasn’t a bad thing, just a taboo one; so like sex or menstruation. Well, Dez didn’t give a fuck about either of those things.

Sawyer reached up and gripped Dez’s face in both hands. “I know you don’t know a lot about how this works, but a lot of people think I’m hormone-drunk right now. That I’m incapable of making rational decisions.”

Dez quirked a brow at that. It sounded silly, but he didn’t want to realize later that Sawyer had been insensible, and he’d taken advantage. Thinking quick, he asked, “Wanna go have sex on Gavin’s bed?”

“What? No, gross, that’s—” Sawyer broke off and pursed his lips for a second, realizing Dez’s point.

“Yeah, you seem totally out of it to me. This is another one of those ‘you’re a fragile flower who can’t be trusted to make his own decisions’ things, right?”

“Probably,” Sawyer agreed. “I’ve never felt out of control because of my hormones, but everyone always said it happened, so I—” He broke off with a sigh and leaned against Dez’s chest.

Dez wrapped his arms around Sawyer and stood there, holding him, in the middle of the kitchen. “You sure sex is what you’re after?”

Sawyer shook his head. “No. I mean not this minute. Not till later. M’gonna wake up in the middle of the night and want to ride you into the mattress. Then there’s always like a day where I can’t sleep and all I can think about is getting you inside me.”

“That’s what you were thinking about last time you were in heat? Me inside you?”

Sawyer smacked Dez’s chest weakly, but didn’t lift his head. His earlier energy seemed to be draining steadily. “You know what I mean. Just wanted sex. A lot.”

As much as Dez wanted to give Sawyer anything he needed, his leg was still a little sore from their full-moon run, and standing there in the kitchen wasn’t helping it. Still, he wasn’t about to complain. Just nudge. “Why don’t we grab some water instead of that beer, and then go lie down? Seems like you could use some rest before this starts. Then you can wake me up with sex whenever you need me.”

Sawyer said he wasn’t tired, and he’d been peppy, but something about the energy felt false. It was like that goofy, energetic time when you were so exhausted you could fall asleep standing up.

Tellingly, Sawyer nodded and turned—without saying a word—to gather up the bottles and exchange them for ice and water from the refrigerator’s filter system. He filled one glass, then looked over at Dez, already blinking sleepily. “Should we get two?”

Dez chuckled and shook his head. “One is fine. I think we’re capable of sharing it.”

They leaned on each other as they both turned toward the gray room, no discussion needed about where to go.

Gavin had been right: they should build a guest house on the property for future use, so no one had to be kicked out of the house. Maybe two guest houses. The property was big enough, and one never knew when the pack was going to grow. Sawyer had proven that when he ran off the street and into their lives.

“I’m sorry everyone left. They could have slept here tonight.” Sawyer’s voice was heavy with guilt, but more with sleep. His racing heartbeat hadn’t slowed to normal, exactly, but compared to moments earlier, it was positively sluggish.

When they reached the edge of the bed, Dez took the glass of water from Sawyer’s hands but offered him a drink, then took one of his own before setting it on the nightstand. Gently, he turned Sawyer and settled him onto the edge of the bed before stripping his shirt off and unbuttoning his jeans.

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