Page 51 of Patron of Mercy

“And?”

“Andwe’ve been discussing things.” Thanatos looked over at Lach, whose eyes had slipped shut. He was probably going to be angry when he woke to remember that Thanatos had forced him to calm down. Maybe their reunion would be over as quickly as it had started. He shrugged and turned back to Hermes. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

In a surprising show of emotion, Hermes furrowed his brow and pursed his lips. It made him look older, more like his father and brothers than he usually did. “You sure you know what you’re doing? I like Lach as much as the next guy—hell, probably more than most—but if I’ve ever met two people more different than you, I couldn’t name ’em.”

It was a good point, but Thanatos had always seen their differences as a benefit, not a drawback. And either way, he wasn’t going to sit here and discuss it with Hermes. “As much as I appreciate your concern, Hermes, I’m older than you by quite a lot. I’m completely capable of making my own decisions.”

Hermes threw up his hands defensively. “I know, I know. And you’re usually the most sensible guy I’ve ever met. But you have a history of making not-the-best decisions when it comes to this one thing. Just, you know, be careful. I’d hate to have to kick Lach’s ass on your behalf.”

“Eons older than you,” he reminded Hermes. “Eons. I can defend my own honor.”

“Yeah, but you’re kind of like a golden retriever, all sweet and innocent and—”

“Are you comparing me to a dog?”

Hermes glanced quickly to one side and then the other, then lifted his brows and tried to look innocent. The expression was very much like Lach. “No?”

Thanatos sighed. “Go on, Hermes. I can handle this from here. Thank you for the help.”

Hermes offered a bright grin. “Anytime! I’m always happy to help the people who don’t want to kill me.” He headed for the door without turning his back, still smiling. “So I’m gonna go before you change your mind about that whole not wanting to kill me thing. Maybe I can find Lach some pants in town. Call me anytime and all that.”

Almost the second his hand touched the knob, Hermes had opened the door, gone out, and closed it behind him. With Zeus for a father, the poor kid was in a regular state of almost-fear, but the idea that he still found Thanatos frightening was odd.

He scrubbed the back of his neck with a hand and sighed. When he glanced over, Lach’s eyes were open and on him.

“You’re nothing like a golden retriever, you know,” Lach told him.

He supposed it was reassuring Lach didn’t think he was a dog. Unless he was about to say he was actually a chihuahua or something like that. “Oh? Some other kind of man’s best friend?”

Lach shook his head, and his eyes went distant. “Nah. You couldn’t be a dog. Or a cat, either. They don’t get sad like you.”

Oh, well that was better, clearly. “I’m not sad.”

“You are. People make you sad. People like me.” He sighed and rolled his head, so he was staring back at the ceiling. “It’s because we’re scared of you, a little. You hate it.”

He wasn’t wrong. It was part of why Thanatos had spent millennia cultivating the softer aspects of his personality, but it didn’t seem to matter how calm he was, how gentle, how soft-spoken. People still feared him simply because he was, and he was Death.

“I’m sorry we make you sad,” Lach whispered. “I don’t mean to.”

Thanatos sat on the edge of the bed next to him and brushed his fingers across Lach’s cheek. There was no point in denying it or asking why people feared him. He knew the answers, and knew they wouldn’t change. “I wish I could convince people,” he said, pushing Lach’s wild hair off his face. “But nothing I do helps. You all insist on being frightened, no matter what I do.”

“Who would ever want to die? I mean, we have to leave everything and everyone behind. It’s terrifying.” Lach shuddered and didn’t meet his eyes.

“But you’re Greek, Lach. You know where you’re going. You know what’s waiting for you, and it’s better than anything you have here.”

Lach met his eyes and reached out to grab his hand. “I don’t think it is.”

And that was unexpected. Did he mean... ? Thanatos took a deep breath and forced himself to go on. “Your father is there. Your brother and mother. Eternal spring and sunshine, sailing into the horizon forever if that’s what you want.”

“But it’s not. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see them again. All the friends and family I’ve lost. But how could Elysium be what I want? There’s no adventure in a place where everything’s perfect and nothing ever goes wrong.” Inexplicably, Thanatos was disappointed in the answer. It was classic Glaucus, though. Lach cleared his throat. “Besides. Not everyone I’ve ever loved is there. You’re not there. You’ll never be there.”

“You can’t keep yourself from eternal happiness for one titan,” Thanatos denied, despite the fact that the words made his heart jump crazily in his chest.

Lach snorted. “I’m not suited to eternal happiness.” His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “But you wish you could go, don’t you? It’s why you’re so dead set on Elysium for everyone all the time. Why you’re so bothered when people don’t want to go there.Youwant to go.”

No one had ever pointed it out so starkly before. Hades had expressed concern for him over it, and other death gods thought him weak because of his feelings for the dead and their rest, even if they didn’t say it aloud. He tried to shrug it off. “Gods don’t get to rest. It’s not in our nature. Elysium was made for mortals.”

“Well there ya go,” Lach announced, loud and obnoxious. “I’m not a mortal, so I’m not allowed. Guess I’ll have to stay with you. I’ll find some way to cope, I’m sure.” The lascivious grin on his face left little doubt as to how he intended to do that, but in the mental state Thanatos had left him, Lach was basically drunk. Having sex with him would be inappropriate. Not that Lach would understand and accept that fact. He probably didn’t think it was possible for anyone to take advantage of him, self-loathing being what it was.

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