Page 90 of Finding the Pieces

“I’d like to think even though he won’t remember specifics, he’ll remember how this time of his lifefelt. Despite all we’ve struggled with, I’ve loved getting tolearn who he is and watching him grow. And watching you become a mom…it’s a gift, Ellie.”

“I hope he remembers the way it feels too. I hope he laughs as easily as he does now. I hope he smiles more than he cries. I hope life is kind to him, but he remembers that he can come home when it’s not and he needs to heal. I hope he appreciates the small things as much as the big things. I hope he knows nothing is ever broken, just evolving, growing.”

Her words soothe fears that linger in my head. “I want all those same things for you too. For us,” I say.

“With you, I have it all.” She pulls my hand into hers and holds it over her heart. I lean over and kiss her forehead, breathing in the smell of her shampoo and the smoke from the fire, listening to the crickets and the early summer breeze blowing through the trees and the hum of a delightfully calm baby monitor.

***

“We don’t have to do this. I haven’t talked to my parents about our…” My voice trails off, unsure if I want to bring up the biggest fight we’ve had in our relationship. “I mean, I wasn’t sure if you’d still be up for puzzle pieces after…” I say, hating the unease creeping along my shoulders and into my gut.

Ellie reaches across the car’s center console, her hand on my thigh.

“No, we should do this. I want to,” Ellie says, voice more confident than I feel.

“We can leave anytime you want,” I say as we get out of the car and I take her hand in mine, walking into the building together.

“Please, after the pole dancing classes Abby set up for us, this should be easy.”

My brain short-fucking-circuits.

“Hold the fuck up, thewhatnow?” I ask, running to catch up with Ellie, who walked ahead of me while my brain froze.

She smirks over her shoulder and gives a shrug. “Maybe you’ll get to see some time.”

“How about now?” I ask, grabbing her around the waist and trailing through the doorway after her.

“Down, boy,” she whispers as my parents spot us from across the room and make their way toward us.

“Unfair, Ellie,” I growl in her ear.

“Who said I play fair?” She winks at me. Goddamn winks at me like she was planning on dropping a bomb like this before we have to spend an hour in public andwith my parents. Ellie in a pole dancing class…fuck, I need to think about anything else.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” my mom exclaims, taking Ellie into her arms for a hug.

“You two are in for a real treat today. The rumba, have you ever done it?” my father asks.

“Dad, you know neither of us has ever ballroom danced before,” I say.

“Right, right, of course. Well, it’s a good thing you aren’t waiting as long as your mother and I did. We had no idea we’d love it as much as we do,” he says.

“I heard congratulations are in order,” Ellie says excitedly. “Maybe we can make it to your next competition.”

“We’d love that,” Mom says, linking elbows with my wife and sitting alongside her on one of the long benches surrounding the edges of the open room. “I hope you both enjoy the class today. Maybe you’ll even want a repeat.” She bumps shoulders with Ellie as she puts on her dance shoes. “The rumba can be very saucy. Keeps the fire lit, if you know what I mean.”

“Jesus Christ.” I groan.

“Sure does. These steps can be very intimate if you put your passion into them,” Dad adds.

Ellie chokes on her own saliva and I’m about to choke on my own vomit.

“We needed something to keep us busy now that we’re both retired. Plus, we’ve got to have something to keep our bodies young so we can keep up with Luca as he grows,” Mom says.

“Now that he’s walking so confidently, it’s like he only has one speed. I think I need to take up running. The future looks…exhausting,” Ellie says.

Mom and Dad help us set up and find a spot on the dance floor among other couples while the instructor takes us through the basic steps.

Ellie’s a natural. Me, on the other hand…

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