Page 61 of Finding the Pieces

“Same,” I say, slapping my stomach.”

She rolls her eyes at me and crosses her arms. “Dom, I’m serious.”

“Check them, but they should be right. I looked before we left home.”

She looks away, something looking awfully close to embarrassment taking over her expression.

“Hey, Ellie. Talk to me. Please.”

“Part of me hates buying clothes to fit my body as it is now. It feels like I’m accepting that I’ll never look the way I used to again.”

“Ellie, look at me.” She does and her vulnerability is raw and unfiltered.Good.I don’t want her hiding from me anymore. “Our bodies change and grow along with the rest of us. It’s not about the size on the tag, it’s about feelingcomfortable in your own skin. The clothes we wear are just the icing on the cake. Why would you feel bad about cake?”

She laughs but tries to take it back. “Dom, it’s not just my weight. It’s everything. The stretch marks, the saggy boobs. Fuck, even my hair changed, and I swear my feet are bigger now too,” she whispers, looking around to make sure no one is listening.

“Ellie, your stretch marks…”

“I swear to god, if you call them tiger stripes…”

“Grrr, baby,” I growl in her ear, sliding my hands down to her ass.

“I love you, but that’s not helping,” she says, fighting a smile.

“Austin Powers not doing it for you today?” I ask. She shakes her head.

“Then you’ll be relieved to know I wasn’t going to call them that,” I assure her. “They’re more like…strikes of lightning. Every mark like a bolt that came crashing down during a powerful storm, forever changing the landscape with every touch. Powerful. Magical. A force of nature unleashing unrestrained power, creating something unstoppable…like a mother. Someone who would face any threat and come out not unscathed, but unbroken.” I pull away to look in her eyes. “You’re more perfect today than the day I met you, Ellie. I want you to know it. I want you tofeelit.”

Chapter thirty

Ellie

Yesterday was…incredible. Dom, Luca, and I had a great morning. It was slow, quiet, and calm.

When my mom arrived to watch Luca so Dom and I could go shopping, it was the first time I didn’t consider staying home instead, driven by my anxiety around leaving Luca. Maybe time does make things easier. My heart sings at the thought that this could be one of those things.God, I hope so.

Dominic put so much thought into our date yesterday. It felt good to be silly. It felt good to laugh. It felt good to let go with him.

The small voice in my head didn’t want to believe that Dom could still find me as attractive as he did when we first met, but his appreciative look when I tried everything on when we got home, made those voices fade away.

He’s never looked at me differently.Why did I stop believing him?

It’s been another slow morning—coffee brewing while I nurse Luca on the sofa. It’s mostly for comfort at this point. He’s nearly weaned. Afterward, Dom feeds him breakfast while I open all the curtains wide, letting the early spring sunshine brighten every corner of the living room and kitchen. I light my favorite candle on the fireplace mantle, put on some soft music, and sit at the table with my guys.

“Dom, I want to talk to you about something,” I say quickly, afraid I won’t ever get the words out if I don’t do it now.

My tone must tell him it’s not something casual, because he gives me his attention, handing Luca some banana to keep him busy for a minute. The kid’s a machine when it comes to fruit.

“Do you remember when Abby and Bec asked me to take photos for New Hope and the Center?”

“Yeah, I saw those. They turned out great. Are they online yet? I’ve been meaning to check the website to see if they’ve updated everything.”

It might seem small to someone else, but the fact that he’s been checking their websites—same as me—to see if they’ve uploaded my photos is so thoughtful, that I melt a little. This giant goof of a husband has no idea how to be unsupportive. He is good and wholesome and giving through and through.

“Not yet. Abby said she heard they should go up sometime next month. But…well, the girls said some things the day I took the photos that got me thinking…”

I hesitate, fear trickling in and…embarrassment? It shouldn’t feel embarrassing talking about something I’m passionate about.

“You didn’t mention that. What’d they say?” he asks.

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