Page 26 of Finding the Pieces

We lock eyes and Ellie giggles.

“I’ll get our boy. You get some puzzle time in.”

I grab her hand before she can get too far and pull her into me for a quick kiss.

“I love you, Ellie.”

“And I love you.”

She leaves to get Luca, and I hear her a few moments later on the monitor, still on the table in front of me. I watch the screen as she pulls him from his crib and listen as she sings and shushes, soothing him almost immediately. She’s a natural, even if she always doubts it.

I knew Ellie would be a phenomenal parent. With her family and friends, she’s always been a steady constant. The nurturer, capable of showing endless love and compassion for the people she cares about. Even still, seeing her become a mom, watching her grow into her own is one of the greatest privileges life has ever given me.

It’s not her fault. I don’t hold onto any resentment for the struggles she’s battling right now. But I wish she could see herself like I do. If she did, she’d see bravery. Bravery to wake up every day and give everything she has to this tiny human, dependent on her for every need, even when I know she’s second-guessing every move she makes. I close my hand in a fist, silently wishing I could explain to her—that I could show her—so she’d understand she doesn’t need to be scared.

She deserves to walk with confidence and be proud of everything she’s survived. I can’t take away the hurt completely, but if I can help, then I’m going to give it my all. The puzzle piece in my hand pokes into my palm as my grip tightens in frustration, reminding me that I never found its place.

I open my palm to see one of the edges crinkled, a little worse for wear, but it will still fit into the bigger picture just fine. I find myself turning the piece over and over in my hand…and it makes me think. If Ellie won’t listen to me when I try to tell her this…maybe I need to show her.

Chapter twelve

Ellie

“What did you do to my brother?” Jake asks, appalled as he stares at Dom dancing at the end of the hallway before dashing back into the living room out of sight.

“You thinkIplanned this?” I ask incredulously. “You know us both better than that. Get it together.”

If anyone had to convince anyone to dress up like an ogre for Halloween, it was absolutely not me convincing Dom. I hold the door open as Jake and Chris step inside, then give them one-armed hugs, my other arm full of a wriggly Donkey, a.k.a. Luca, before they follow me into the living room.

Dom hugs them hello, his ogre ears practically poking them in the eye, much to Jake’s horror. Dom and I are both covered in green body paint. When Luca first saw us in costume, he shrieked with joy. Could have gone the other way just as easily, so I’m relieved he’s excited and not terrified. He was happy to hop into his furry donkey onesie and complete our trio.

Carissa, Dee, and Abby dressed as Charlie’s Angels. Bec and Aiden dressed as Princess Leia and Hans Solo. They completed their ensemble with a rambunctious Hopper, dressed as Chewy, who’s strolling around the room excitedly stealing pets anywhere he can find them and hoovering up crumbs from snacksLuca’s thrown around, abandoned to the forgotten corners of our floors. Dylan is dressed like Bob Ross, with his own paint palate, while Chris and Jake are dressed in full Aviators gear. Aiden laughs when he sees them.

“Hey, this is what you get for spoiling us with merch. We were set up with a free Halloween costume,” Jake says.

“Plus, this might be my only opportunity to put Jake in baseball pants. Yummy,” Chris adds.

“I second that yum.” Dee smirks, slapping both Chris and Jake on the ass as she walks by.

“This is why you’re my favorite,” Jake says with a laugh.

“Okay, are we doing this or what?” Dylan asks.

“You can’t be fucking serious. I thought that was a joke.”

“What part of trick-or-treating is a joke to you, Deanna?” Dylan asks.

“The part where five grown men take a one-year-old who can’t eat candy trick-or-treating. You know you’re not actually supposed to steal candy from a baby, right?” Dee asks.

“It’s not stealing,” Dylan says defensively.

Dom wraps his arms around my waist, closing the space between us as he steps behind me. “You sure you don’t want to come with?” he whispers in my ear.

“Nah, you guys knock yourselves out.” Dom and I already hit a few houses with Luca before everyone arrived so we could both enjoy the memory of his first trick-or-treating, even if he is too young for it. Last year, we kept him home since he was only a month old at the time. “Show Luca how it’s done. Bring home some sugar, Daddy.”

He stills, turns my jaw to look at him, and I smirk.

What?We’re not having sex, but a girl can still flirt with her husband, right? He looks me up and down.

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