Page 77 of Finding the Pieces

“Because I’m fine.” I can hear the annoyance bleeding into my tone, but I’m helpless to stop it.

“If what Ellie went through caused her to feel the way she feels and struggle the way she has been forover a year, there is no way that you arefine. If you want to be strong for her, I get it, but you don’t have to do that in front of me. I’m your brother and you can talk to me. I thought things were getting better, but shit, you have this massive fight with Ellie, send her states away, and act like everything is fine?”

“I have an appointment with my therapist soon, I’ll talk to him,” I mumble.

“And then?”

“And then it won’t be an issue anymore.”

“Just like that, huh? It’s that’s easy.” He shakes his head. “You actually think you made this puzzle for Ellie, don’t you? So, she can work through her pain, cope with all the messed-up shit she’s going through, but you’renotpaying attention. You also did this foryou. This is your coping mechanism, Dom. You put the focus on everyone else, all the time. Do you ever stop and think that maybe you need to heal too? In a different way than Ellie? Of course. But this?” He holds up my phone. “This is not the relationship you two used to have. And it’s not all on Ellie.”

He returns my phone, the weight of it dropping into my palm like a brick.

Fuck, is he right?

My chest rings hollow and my stomach sours. I shift my gaze to Luca, who’s crawling through the bubbles now floating through the group of kids. A huge grin on his face, wheezing giggles and screams roaring out of his tiny body. Story time is over.

Looks like the story I was telling myself is over too.

“By the look on your face, I can see we’re finally on the same page,” Jake says smugly. “Now, we’re getting out of these goddamn chairs because my ass is officially numb, and then we’re going to figure this out. You in?”

Chapter forty

Ellie

“Ididn’t think anyone else was a morning person,” Evie says as she pulls the slider shut behind her, joining me on the sundeck. She plops into the chair next to mine and kicks her feet up on the railing in front of us, wiggling her toes in the humid, salty air.

The sun is about to break over the horizon, but the sky is already painted in color, broad sweeping strokes of orange and yellow waking up with the water and waves as they reflect beauty back to one another.

“I’m not,” I say, before sipping my coffee. “But after a year and a half of living with an infant whorepelssleep, I think my body is operating on autopilot. Couldn’t sleep any later if I wanted to.”

“Maybe tomorrow. I always have a hard time sleeping in new places. Maybe you just need one more night to get used to it here. That’s what I’m hoping for anyway.”

“Maybe.” I smile at her optimism. “But if not, at least this isn’t such a bad view to wake up to.”

Evie takes a thoughtful sip out of her own mug before nodding in agreement. “Not bad at all. Carissa didn’t move an inch when I wormed my way out of our room. I would say I treaded lightly past Dee and Abby’s room, but apparentlyDee snores, so I figured any noise I made wouldn’t have done much more damage than that.”

I bark a laugh. “Oh god, I completely forgot about that. Did anyone give Abby a heads up?”

“Abby volunteered. Said she sleeps with earplugs anyway.”

We sit in comfortable silence. I’ve known Evie for the least amount of time of any of the girls, but she and Bec have gotten close since she’s Aiden’s younger sister and soon to be Bec’s sister-in-law. I’m glad she was able to join us for the weekend.

“Thank you for coming on this trip,” I say. “I know it can be a pain to take time away. Bec mentioned your grad program is competitive.”

She sighs. “Even more of a reason to get away. I’m grateful for the invite. I don’t have many girl friends. It’s nice to be included. When I heard what your husband planned for you, and that everyone was pitching in their own ideas, I was dying to be a part of it.”

“Yeah, it’s really…something,” I say, smiling into my mug, both hands around the warm sides, once again reminded how over-the-top my husband is.

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” she asks without judgment, only curiosity. “The attention?”

“No one’s asked me that. Sometimes,” I respond honestly. “It’s weird that everyone knows I’ve been…struggling. Everyone planned really thoughtful, unique, and meaningful things for us to do together. Since Luca was born, it’s been easier to keep things surface level, you know? But with this stuff…”

“It’s like you can’t hide from it anymore. Can’t run from it either. Not with everyone’s attention on you,” Evie offers gently.

“Exactly,” I say, relieved she seems to get it. “It’s not that I’m not grateful, but sometimes it’s overwhelming.”

“What’s the hardest part?” she asks, her eyes on the sunrise.

---