Page 73 of Finding the Pieces

Ellie

“You’re really okay with this?” I ask for the millionth time today. Maybe Dom changed his mind in the last six minutes…you never know.

“Yes,” Dom says with conviction. “I know you’re nervous about the distance and time away, but I think you’ll feel better if you try. Like Bec said on the phone, if you want to leave early, you leave early. Anytime you want to video chat with Luca and me, we’ll pause our dance party to hear about how much fun you’re having.”

I roll my eyes, but a smirk fights its way to my face anyway. I know that Dom and Luca will be fine. Iknowit. But that doesn’t stop my hands from sweating or my stomach from rolling with nausea at the thought of my first night away from Luca since he was born almost twenty months ago. And it won’t just be one night. The girls are stealing me away for a long weekend. Four nights in the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

Dom’s smile fades and he steps closer, his chest a breath away from mine. He holds the back of my neck and his eyes search mine. “I mean it. If you need to come home, say the word. If you need to call me at two in the morning so I can show you the baby monitor to quiet your mind, I want you to do it. I’mhere for you, Ellie. Girls vacation or not.” His nose brushes mine, his lips so close, a whisper of a kiss between us. “I’m here for you always.”

“I love you,” I say, squeezing my eyes shut to hold back the tears threatening to escape. “Thank you for loving me back. I know I haven’t been myself, but I swear, I’m trying. The other day…I just felt so out of control.”

“I love you in every phase, in every shade, in every darkness, in every ray of light. You’re in my head and my heart. There’s nothing that can change that. Understand?”

Tears streak down my cheeks as I nod, his sweet words stealing my voice. He holds me until I have to go.

I steady myself and prepare to say goodbye to Luca. I sob, naturally, and come back to pick him up “just one more time” at least three times, but then the girls pull into the driveway and it truly is time to go. With one last hug, Luca in my arms, and me in Dom’s, I say a final goodbye to my tiny family and roll my carry-on bag down the driveway. Time to catch a flight.

***

“How did you guys find a place for us to stay this weekend? I thought you needed to book months in advance in the Outer Banks? Especially this close to Memorial Day,” I say, shoving my last bag into the back of the minivan Dee rented to get us from the airport to the beach house. Our flight from Ohio wasn’t long, but stretching my legs before we spend a chunk of time in the car feels like a good investment.

I’ve never been to North Carolina before, but when the girls told me they had planned a beach trip, it did help lessen my anxiety about leaving home. Hard to say no to sun, sand, and surf with the promise of four nights of uninterrupted sleep. Should make my first overnight trip away from Luca easier. I hope.

“Toby has a timeshare, remember? He’s so quiet about it, I swear, even my parents forgot when I told them where we were going,” Bec says.

Toby, Bec’s oldest brother, is her sibling I know the least. He’s soft spoken, reserved, and dedicated to his job. If there’s a Miller sibling who could let us all forget he has a timeshare at the beach, it’s Toby.

“Nice ride, Dee,” Abby says, jumping into the passenger seat as Dee puts a burned CD labeledBitches on Beaches: Acumcomeback storyinto the stereo system.

“Did you seriously burn a CD for this trip?” I ask.

“How did you know we’d get a van with a CD player?” Carissa asks from the backseat. Valid question; aren’t those becoming obsolete in newer cars?

“Did I read that title right?” Bec asks as she climbs into the captain’s chair next to me.

“Jesus, what’s with the interrogation? I need you all to relax. We are onvacation. I had a long conversation with Jonah about the accommodations our ride needed to come with. You’ll find snacks and drinks in a mini cooler back by Carissa and Evie. We can use the cooler for the beach, but we have to return it with the van; Jonah needs it for his hiking trip on Monday,” she says as she puts on her sunglasses and adjusts the mirrors.

“Who the hell is Jonah?” Bec asks.

“Uh, the guy I scheduled our rental with, duh.” Dee lowers the passenger seat window and leans over Abby’s lap to shout, “Thanks, Jonah! See you Sunday!”

“You ladies have a great time,” I hear him shout back as she twiddles her fingers in his direction.

“Pieces of Me” by Ashlee Simpson starts playing and I immediately start laughing. “Oh my god, the ballad of my teen years.”

“I thought you would approve. I remember you had a lot of Ashlee on your workout playlists in college. I also thought it was a nice nod to Dom’s puzzle and the reason we are gathered here today.” Dee turns to face me, pulling her sunglasses down from her head so I can’t see her eyes, but her face is completely serious. “Ellie, this is your comeback story. I can’t wait to see where it takes us.”

“God help us,” Bec mumbles.

“I’m your god now, Miller,” Dee says in her sexy man voice, quoting our book club pick of the month as she revs the engine, pulling out of the car rentalparking lot and merging onto the freeway. It’s about a ninety-minute drive from the airport in Virginia to our beach house in North Carolina, where we’ll be staying.

“Speaking of our book, who wants to go first?” Abby asks. “Evie, it’s your first time in the buddy read. What’d you think?”

“I think I scarred Aiden for life when he walked into my apartment while I was listening to the audiobook,” she says with a laugh.

“What is it with your brother and audiobooks?” Bec mutters from her seat next to me.

“What was that?” Evie asks.

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