Page 3 of Finding the Pieces

God, I love him.I’m so lucky we’re doing this together.

“We’re already late,” I say with a hysteric giggle.

His brows furrow in confusion as he stretches, pulling the sleeve of his button-down shirt farther up his arm so he can check his watch.

“Not yet, but we have to leave now if we don’t want to miss out on the apps. You know Marie’s Diner has the best sampler. At this rate, Jake and Chris will be halfway done with it before we park the car.”

“I’m telling you now,we’re already late,” I say, unable to contain my excitement, clumsily reaching behind me to grab a test from the counter and holding out my shaking hand in the space between us.

His entire body freezes. Like he can’t risk moving even to take a breath. My husband-turned-statue stares for one…two…three of the longest seconds of my life before his shoulders crumple and he hinges forward at the waist, his palms covering his face as a sob escapes.

I sob in answer and laughter bubbles up, too, as tears of gratitude, fear, and uninhibited joy escape my heart through my tears.

He stands from his crouched position after a moment, blindly reaching for me until he’s wrapped me tightly in his arms, his embrace shielding me and our baby from every force in the world. It’s just us. Here and now, just the two…three of us.

“Oh my god, Ellie. I love you. I love you so fucking much. This is it.” He takes a step back, holding the side of my face with one hand as the other gently moves to my stomach, the warmth of his touch registering through the shock. Whenmy eyes lock with his, my heart stutters and our dopey smiles of disbelief must mirror one another’s.

“Holy shit, we need to go to the store. What do we need for a baby’s room? I don’t know anything about breast pumps—we need one of those, right? What kind of clothes do they wear when they’re that small? We need to…need to…” His glassy eyes flutter back and forth, lost and searching for something to bring him back to solid ground.

“Dominic, breathe,” I say, running my hand over his, both of them now stretched across my stomach. “Breathe. We don’t need to do anything right now…except get your pregnant wife to the place with thefood.” I wink and that seems to break him out of his shocked state. Our nervous laughter echoes through the hall as we rest our heads against one another, threading our fingers together over the space I’ll be growing our little one until they’re ready to meet us.

We’ve been wishing and waiting for this, yet I don’t think anything could prepare us for how it’d feel to realize we’ve already been strapped into the seats of this roller coaster, departed the station, and are making our way up the hill before we even knew. No idea what the track ahead looks like. Where it’ll dip, dive, climb, and curve. How fast we’ll be careened from one twist to the next.

But I know I’m ready.We’reready.

I know more than anything that this man is the person I’m meant to be with. The man I’m meant to share this life with as we welcome this little one into our bubble of love.

Chapter two

Ellie

Present Day

I’m sitting behind the wheel of my car, imagining all the ways I could get into a wreck while driving to my parent’s house. We’re only a city away from them, in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio, but the fifteen-minute drive feels like hours as my mind starts to race withwhat-ifs.

My son, Luca, is buckled into his car seat in the back, babbling away, oblivious to the mindfuck that has his mom paralyzed, unable to shift the car into reverse.

“Babe.” Dom reaches over to squeeze my thigh, shaking me out of my trance. “Want me to drive? It’s okay if you aren’t up for it.”

The look he gives me turns my stomach sour. It isn’t pity; it’s compassion, but I hate it all the same. I don’t want him to have to be compassionate. I want him to joke with me and make a sarcastic comment about how he’s become an old man with saggy balls waiting for me to haul ass out of our driveway.

I want him to treat me how he used to, without kid gloves. But I know this is what I need, and I fucking hate that I need it.

“No, I got it. I’ll be fine.” I adjust my grip on the steering wheel, my knuckles white from the pressure. “We’ll be fine…right?” My confidence sputters.

Dom grabs me behind the neck, turning me toward him, and leans his forehead against mine, taking a few deep breaths—in and out—loud enough for me to hear. My breaths sync with his for a few beats, my racing heart slowing.

“We will be fine. You are safe. We are safe,” he whispers my mantra to me before kissing my forehead.

I repeat the thought throughout the drive, willing it to stay true.

I am safe. We are safe.

***

The trip home is less eventful. My mind too tired from socializing with our families at dinner tonight to spin through my usual pattern of worst-case scenario thinking.

We pull away from my parents’ house, where they hosted dinner for Dom’s parents, his brother Jake, Jake’s husband Chris, Dom, Luca, and me. I watch from the passenger seat as Dom effortlessly navigates the roads to take us home.

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