Page 20 of Finding the Pieces

“I love you,” she says, her eyes watery with defeat.

“Love you too,” I say, resting my head on her shoulder as she pulls me in close. We watch Luca and Dad play and laugh with ease.

I won’t put my problems on my family. I can handle whatever this is. I just need a bit more time.

Lie.

Chapter ten

Dom

“Dom. Dom, wake up,” Ellie says, pushing my shoulder as I slowly surface from sleep.

“What’s going on?”

“He’s up. It’s your turn,” she says, a sense of urgency in her voice. She gets anxious when he cries, but I can’t leap out of a dead sleep into a sprint. I’m a heavy-ass sleeper and my body doesn’t work like that. My brain needs a second to catch up.

“Huh? Yeah. Okay, I’m…I’m up,” I mumble, voice hoarse. I rub my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose with one hand, checking the time with the other. “Holy fuck, El. It’s two forty-five in the morning.”

She flops onto her back and glares at me. “Yeah, well, I was up with him from twelve-thirty to two. Like I said,you’re up.” She rolls back to her side.

“Fuck,” I mumble as I make my way into Luca’s room. Only a forty-five-minute stretch of sleep.What the fuck is going on tonight?

Luca’s never been one to sleep through the night, but since his birthday party a few days ago, he’s been giving us longer stretches of uninterrupted sleep. Guess he was still recovering from the excitement of the party. Seems like that’s over now.

“Hey, hey, shhhhhh. Little man, it’s okay. You’re just crying because you’re tired, right? I say, taking a screaming Luca into my arms, holding his head against my chest, and trying to soothe him as best I can.

Fuck, he’s inconsolable.

Time drags on and I try everything in my arsenal. I shush, I sing, I hum. I rock, I pat, I sway. I sit, I stand—shit, I even lie down on the ground next to his crib at one point holding his panicked hand as he reaches through the slats in the crib.

“Goddammit,” I huff. I’m running out of ideas, but the idea of calling Ellie in for help isn’t appealing either. We both know nursing gets him to sleep faster, but she was just up with him for an hour and a half while I slept. But I have to work tomorrow and she’s home with Luca. He might nap for her, and she can rest. I’m sure she’ll understand.

I try to calm him down for a few more minutes, but nothing’s working.

“Ellie?” I call out cautiously, stepping into our room with Luca still crying in my arms.

“Yes?” she hisses from underneath the covers, frustration evident in her tone.

“I’ve tried everything. I can’t get him back down,” I say, admitting defeat and bracing myself for a different storm. One of the Ellie variety.

“Did you try singing? Humming? Changing your hold?”

“Yes, yes, and yes. Still no luck.”

“And you checked his diaper, right?”

Fuuuuuck.I’m so fucking exhausted; I forgot to check. I’m not thinking clearly.

“Shit. I’ll do that now,” I say before quickly dodging out of our room and into Luca’s nursery before Ellie can respond.

Wouldn’t you know it? The damn diaper was wet.

So, I try again. Still, more tears from Luca, but I do my best, cycling through all my methods again, each attempt seeming to piss him off even more. Putting him in his swing. Rocking him in the glider. Singing, bouncing, everything. A guy can only handle so much screaming, and I’mabout to hit my limit.

“I got him changed and still…nothing. Do you think you can take a turn?” I ask Ellie, daring to venture back into our bedroom.

“Do you know how long you’ve been in there?” she asks, sitting up straight, hair a mess, eyes cold enough to cut through my insides and leave me burning afterward.

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