Page 18 of Finding the Pieces

Ellie’s still holding him in the rocker. I tiptoe closer, kneeling beside them, and see that Luca is well and truly passed out, lying limp on Ellie’s chest, lips slightly parted, as she rubs his back and holds him close.

I don’t speak, too afraid of waking him. It’s difficult to see, but I can feel Ellie’s stare. That innate knowing after spending years with someone. Knowing them inside and out, going through…all that we went through together.

There’s so much left unsaid between us. Some of it because we’re busy, moving from one task to the next, stuck in survival mode, but mostly because we don’t have the words.

Words can’t undo what happened.

Words can’t fix whatever is breaking between us.

I lift my hand and place it on top of hers, where it’s resting against the small of Luca’s back. She continues to rock and hold our entire world in her arms.

The longer we stay like that, the better my eyes adjust, seeing her clearer than I have all night. I was naive to think the day had passed for her with ease. When her mask falls, the strong façade she displays for all to see melts away. She’s sitting here, gorgeous, her blonde hair falling around her shoulders in loose waves, her soft curves gorgeously on display in a black nightgown with thin straps and shelf cutouts to make nursing easier. Tears glisten in her eyes and on her cheeks.

Luca stirs for a moment and lets out a deep sigh. After making sure he’s still asleep, my eyes return to Ellie’s to find her still watching me, deep in thought.

At this exact moment a year ago, we were recovering from the most terrifying moment of our lives. Not in too dissimilar of a position than this. Thankfully, the three of us came home.

What does it take to heal from something like that?

I need to figure it out before this breaks us entirely.

Chapter nine

Ellie

“When will she be lucid?”

Dom?I lift my hand, attempting to find his, but I’m not sure it moves.

Someone responds, but it’s muddled, distorted. I can’t make sense of the words, my mind foggy under the surface of a sleep I can’t shake.

I’m not sure how much time passes. I can’t move. I can’t speak. My thoughts flutter around too quickly for me to make sense of them. There was something I was supposed to do. Something important. I was with Dom, we were at the hospital, and then…then…

“We’re going to place the little guy on her chest now. Would you like to hold him first?”

“No. No, she should hold him.”

Our baby’s here? Him?

My heart explodes at the feel of pressure concentrated in the center of my chest.

And then I feel it. Limbs stretching slowly across my skin. Hair tickling the crook of my neck. Soft skin, warm against mine. The light scratch of a diaper tab.

And then I hear it. A muffled cry, followed by fussing that settles quickly. A content sigh. Small squeaks.

I’m holding my baby…for the first time.

“Ellie, baby. You did it. He’s here. I’ve got you both.”

Dom.

His arms wrap around my shoulders, squeezing gently. I want to respond, to tell him I hear him, but I can’t find my voice.

“Ellie. Open your eyes, honey. Ellie,” he calls to me, louder this time.

“Ellie, are you listening?” I startle at my mother’s voice. Something in her stare tells me she’s been trying to get my attention for some time.

“Sorry, I got distracted. What were you saying?” I shake my head, willing away the memory and the accompanying ache buried in my chest, forcing it further down until all I feel is numb. I close my eyes trying to collect myself, but immediately open them when unwelcome images come flooding to the surface, unbidden and unwelcome.

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