Page 201 of Off the Pitch

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” I said. There was a pause, and I wondered if I’d overstepped. “Sorry, that was really fucking rude of me. Just ignore that.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re right.” There was another pause, and I heard laughter in the background. “My brother’s done a lot for me. There have been times when things haven’t gone to plan, and he’s always been there for me… I just don’t think I’ve ever quite managed to live up to his expectations.” His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, almost as if he didn’t want me to hear. But all I could hear was the pain behind the words and the crushing sense of disappointment that seemed to surround them. I wanted to open my arms and pull him close to me, distracting him from whatever doubts were lingering in his brain. Félix seemed to live a charmed life, but I was starting to wonder how much of it was an act and how much of it was real. Was it just a smokescreen to stop anyone from getting to close to the man behind it?

“I’m sorry,” I said. There didn’t seem to be much else I could say.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry for bringing down the mood.”

“Don’t worry.” I didn’t want Félix to think he shouldn’t have told me. “I’m sure your brother loves you, you know.”

“Thanks. Do you have any siblings?” I knew he was trying to change the subject, but I was happy to have the conversation go wherever he wanted it to. I’d missed his voice.

“Just one. My half-sister, Mia. She’s six, and honestly, she has me wrapped around her fingers.”

Félix chuckled. “I know that feeling.”

“Seriously, I’d do anything for her. Although she fucking broke my heart at Christmas because she said she thinks football is boring, and she wants to do gymnastics. She’d been watching videos of Simone Biles on YouTube and wants to be just like her. Which is really fucking cool and all, but did she have to say football was boring?” I’d pretended to collapse when Mia had said that, but she’d just laughed at me and then tried to jump on me to prove I was faking it.

I’d been scared when she’d been born that I wasn’t going to be a good brother because there was such an age gap between us, but it actually worked out for the best. Sarah used to pick me up from training after school and take me to matches, cheering from the sidelines with Mia strapped to her chest. We’d had a deal that she’d ferry me to and from football stuff if I babysat Mia in the evenings so she could do her marking and planning, since she’s a primary school teacher. I got really good at telling stories while Mia stared up at me with wide eyes and her gorgeous gummy smile. Sarah had probably done it to help me get close to Mia, and now there was nothing I wouldn’t do for my sister.

I loved spending time with her, and she even had a bedroom at my house so she could sleep over whenever my dad and Sarah needed a child-free evening. And if I really needed help, then I roped in Liam, who Mia viewed as a second big brother. Having a six-year old sister also meant I could now do a killer version of “Let It Go” fromFrozenfor karaoke. It was my secret superpower.

“Children will do that. Lara once drew all over my pair of white Gucci trainers in permanent marker. Absolutely ruined them. Then she told me they were boring, and she’d made them pretty. Honestly, I couldn’t stay mad at her. I think I’ve still got them somewhere,” Félix said.

“Ooft, Gucci trainers though.”

“I know,” Félix said with a dramatic sigh. “I loved those shoes. They were limited edition.”

I snorted. I heard Félix’s name being called. I’d almost forgotten he was at a party, and my heart sank. I almost wished he wouldn’t go. “I should let you get back to your party,” I said reluctantly.

“We can talk for a bit longer. If you want to that is. I understand if you’re busy.”

“I’m literally lying on my sofa in my joggers and a hoodie. I should probably eat something, but I have no plans after that except sleeping.” Now that I’d thought about food, I suddenly realised how hungry I was. My muscles groaned as I hauled myself off the sofa, traipsing into the kitchen to see what Ant had left me. The oven was still on low, and I realised he’d left my favourite fish curry in a dish to keep warm. I wondered if he’d watched the game and decided to cheer me up. Ant was thoughtful like that.

“What are your plans for tonight?” I asked, as I pulled my oven gloves on, pinning my phone between my ear and my shoulder as I attempted to retrieve my dinner without dropping anything. “Gonna party all day?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Félix said. “I’ll probably stay here for a bit and then head back to the hotel. I might meet an old friend for dinner, but that will depend on if he has to work or not.”

“No clubbing? That doesn’t sound like you! You’re in LA. Surely you’ve got better things to do than sit at the hotel?”

“I don’t really feel like it tonight,” he said. “What about you? No private club outing planned?”

“Nah, I can’t be dealing with that. I’d have to leave the house again.” Félix laughed, and I smiled. What was it about that sound that automatically made me smile? It was like a sip of vodka, warming me from the inside out. “Besides, I’ve always got a dildo if I get bored.”

Félix laughed again. “Well,” he said, his voice turning darker. It was a tone he’d used on me before, right before he’d fucked me so hard and so perfectly that I’d come untouched. I shivered. “I’d like to see that next time I’m in London. I bet you look incredible with a thick dildo stuffed in your hole.” My cock throbbed, tenting the front of my joggers. A groan slipped from my lips, and I clutched at the counter.

“You’ll just have to come back to London and see then,” I said.

“Lucky for you, I am.” Something in my stomach lurched, but I wasn’t convinced it was because I was hungry.

“Yeah?” I removed the lid from the dish and set it on the side, letting the fragrant curry smell waft over me. I grabbed a fork out of the drawer to my left, not bothering to re-plate my food, and leant over the counter with my phone still in my hand as I started to eat. “When?”

“Next week. I’ll be back in London until the end of April.”

“Do you want to come over?” I asked. “We could make good on that suggestion of yours?” I added, trying to cover up my eagerness. I was definitely not as smooth as I liked to think.

“I think I will. I’ll text you when I’m back in the city. Maybe we can go for dinner? And then you can show me your toys.”

“Sounds good.” The phrase ‘it’s a date’ circled lazily in my mind, but I pushed it away. Buying me dinner before he fucked my brains out was just polite. If he wanted to watch me stuff a dildo up my ass, he could at least buy me a steak first.

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