Page 99 of Faithful

“Look…”

He inhales sharply and I can sense hesitation. I don’t need to see him up close to know how he feels. I can tell just by the way he talks, by the way he pauses between words, by the way he’s breathing unevenly.

“It’s fine, Kai,” I say solemnly. “I guess we’re just not on the same page.” In my mind, I’m already wondering how much it will cost me to remove the goddamn tat. I probably can’t afford the procedure at this point, so perhaps it’s time I get a second job.

“Don’t twist it,” he demands. “I never promised anything. As a matter of fact, I told you from the beginning not to make it into something it wasn’t. And you went ahead and did it anyway.”

“I don’t know how to control my heart, asshole,” I say angrily. “You think I’ve got some fucking switch that you can just turn off and on whenever you desire. Besides, you led me on.”

“I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. You don’t fucking invite someone you’ve been sleeping with for months to spend Thanksgiving at your mother’s place. So deal with it now!”

Kai remains silent and the moment stretches on until he finally regains the composure I apparently shattered a little just now by nearly yelling at him for giving me mixed signals.

“I don’t expect you to understand, Dylan,” he says.

“What’s there to understand? I’ve got feelings for you that you somehow didn’t think would ever develop after everything? Are you scared of that fact, or have you just been fucking with me all this time for breaking your nose?”

As soon as the last bit leaves my mouth, I want to take it back, but it’s too late. The accusation is there, heavy and ludicrous.

“You know what, Dylan? If you don’t care to hear my side of the story, then fuck you!”

And then he hangs up.

* * *

A week after my disastrous confession, Iodine flies out to L.A. to play a show at some new music venue that booked the band for their opening night.

There’s a livestream on Instagram, and I check out parts of it while stewing alone in my room.

Kai and I haven’t spoken since that dumb phone fight we had several days ago and I’m starting to realize that I miss him more than I hoped I would.

Even with things being pretty intense at work due to Christmas approaching faster than ever and Val being sick with the flu, he’s in my head every waking second. I wonder where he’s at or what he’s eating or if he’s all caught up with his favorite anime, which I watch too because I got attached to the characters.

His face, pale and fine-boned and beautiful, is filling every pixel of my phone’s screen and I want to lick it to be closer to him.

I almost do.

And then I remember how Glasses threatened to fuck up Kai’s career less than a month ago if I didn’t stop seeing him. Well, the asshole’s wish has been granted. We’re not talking anymore and perhaps it’s for the best.

* * *

My test results come back all negative.

Too bad it was a wasted effort.

12 SOME KIND OF ULTIMATUM

It’s Friday night… or Saturday morning.

I’m actually not too sure when my phone buzzes on my nightstand at an ungodly hour. I have a very vague recollection of falling asleep because Leigh got her hands on some weed and threw me a pity party in our living room.

The absence of any kind of noise in the apartment or out in the street (besides my screaming ringtone) tells me that it’s very late… or very early.

And the only person who would call me at this time is Kai.

The realization has me rolling over in my bed to grab the phone. I don’t make it. The device stops buzzing before I get to press the answer button.

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