Page 83 of Faithful

Two hours later Kai and I leave KC’s studio with twin tats on our left wrists.

My head is filled with cotton and my limbs are like jelly as we pile into the back of the SUV.

Rourke is right there, his face a total mask.

The first thing Kai does when we begin moving is crack the window open and smoke a cigarette. Once that’s out of the way, he plasters himself to me in a way that makes even his bodyguard uncomfortable.

“Oh, turn the fuck around then,” Kai snaps at the dude and continues his ministrations to my ear while I gently brush my thumb over the plastic wrapped around my wrist to protect the fresh ink.

* * *

The closer to the hotel we get, the greater my panic becomes.

Not because of what I just did, not because I marked myself with something so obvious for the rest of my life, but because of my fear of losing it, losing him.

In the elevator, I squeeze my fingers around Kai’s so hard, he tugs on my hand to remind me he’s made of something that breaks.

Rourke escorts us down the empty corridor to the suite, and it’s only when we’re inside, under the familiar cover of darkness, with me pressed to the door and Kai twisting the collar of my jacket at my neck, that I make sense of all these emotions cramming into my head.

They are a combination of terror and want and they push against my skin from within, needing to be voiced. Before the end of this trip. Before I board the plane tomorrow and leave this place and him behind.

“Will you be miserable?” Kai rasps out, grazing his lips over my jaw. “When you’re back in Seattle?”

“Very.”

“Good.” He kisses my temple and shoves his hips forward, making his desire obvious.

“Kai…” I half moan, half cry out as my own cock hardens against his, our layers of clothes be damned.

“Mmmm?”

“I want you to fuck me.”

There’s a pause. His mouth stills for a second on my face. “Okay.”

“Now.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, I’m fucking sure.” I grab at the lapels of his coat with both hands and yank him to me. Our noses touch. “It’s not sealed–you and I–not unless I give you what you’ve given me.”

“I don’t need you to give me things I don’t ask for.”

“You don’t understand… I want you in every way. I fucking do… Just don’t argue with me on this…”

He laughs softly, the deep echo of his voice filling the dark all around us. “Not going to, baby… not going to.”

We undress in a rush with the lights off and the window blinds shut.

I don’t know if I’m buzzing because of the anticipation of being fucked or because I’m still under the influence of alcohol. At any rate, it doesn’t matter anymore.

A week of staying together in the same hotel room has made usveryfamiliar with each other.

There’s not a part of Kai’s body I haven’t owned, inside and out. And there’s very little left for him to explore on mine, so it seems only fitting that we skip the foreplay and get right to business.

Again, it could easily be blamed on the remainder of the booze in our bloodstreams or it could be us being stupid. Or it could be something more, something substantial, something wild, something that can’t be controlled because it’s just bigger than us at this point.

One minute we’re standing in front of each other naked, kissing urgently, and the next I’m bent against the edge of the bed with my forearms planted on the mattress, shoulders trembling.

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