Page 60 of Faithful

He thrusts himself into the crook of my arm and throws a hand over my stomach and a leg over my thigh. There are no words uttered, but his actions speak for themselves. This hasn’t been about sex for a long time, maybe never.

I sense things and I know I should simply let him be his brooding, secretive self, but it’s not justhimandmeanymore. It seems as though it’susnow and I need to talk about it. About thisus. I need to get some kind of clarification.

“Did I do okay?” I ask very quietly, not positive whether it’s a wise choice for my first question, but I suppose knowing if you satisfied your lover is as good a conversation starter as any.

“Not bad,” Kai mutters, brushing a finger down the middle of my chest.

“Does… that make you a bottom?”

“I’m versatile.”

I have to think about what I’m going to say next very carefully. “Would you ever want to fuck me?”

“Only if you want me to.”

Okay, then. I make a mental note under the newly establishedthings I want to try with Kai in bedbox in my head.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Doesn’t mean I’ll respond,” he says teasingly.

“You’ve been responding so far.”

“What is it?”

“What did you do with the money? The settlement for the…” I wave a hand in the general direction of his face and feel him tense up against me for a brief moment.

“For my broken nose, you mean?”

“Yeah.”

“Why can’t you say it?”

“Why do you think?”

“You tell me.”

“Because it’s not something I like to revisit… You’re off topic now.”

Silent seconds tick by. “Paid some outstanding bills,” he says eventually. “Gave the rest to my mother.”

This is the first time he’s mentioned a family member (his absentee father doesn’t count) and it seems big, significant even.

“What did you think I did with it?” Kai lifts himself up on an elbow and stares at my face.

“I don’t know. That’s why I asked.”

“Not everyone parties and drinks and snorts their earnings away.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You thought it at some point. Before this”–he motions at the space between us–“happened.”

“Not really.”

“Liar.”

“I just wanna know things about you beyond the hotel room.”

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