Page 41 of Faithful

“Alright.”

* * *

As it turns out, my gut isn’t the best compass. It’s silent, and all I can think of the following day at work is Kai’s face moments before I exited his hotel room in Nashville. The small changes in his expression that made me want to cancel my flight, quit my job, and stay there. With him.

Halloween is for suckers, Dylan. I’ll see you in Vegas.

November can’t come soon enough.

He wasn’t even able to leave the floor to take me to the airport because of the crowd outside and because Bodhi informed him that several people sneaked into the building and security was now compromised.

We couldn’t risk getting caught.

The fallout would be fucking catastrophic.

Now I just have to remain patient for a few weeks until Iodine flies to Nevada for their residency.

During my lunch break, I text Kai, then call Amelia. I don’t know what exactly I’m expecting but when she explains that all the background noise is because she and my mother are at a nail salon, I don’t believe her at first.

“Come again?”

“Nail salon, sweetie. A place where–”

“I know what a nail salon is,” I say, cutting her off. “Mom’s with you?”

“Yeah… Hold on. I think she needs me… Do you mind if we speak later on?”

“Sure. Go. Have fun. Do… nails. But not those bejeweled ones!”

I kill the call and find that Kai has responded to my message. It’s a gif, a reference to a funny moment in the anime episode we watched over the weekend.

I can’t help my smile.

* * *

After work, I do something I actually haven’t done in a while.

I visit Ava.

No, I visit Ava’s grave.

I feel like I can finally say it because the real Ava is gone. What’s left isn’t my sister. It’s just rot and dust.

For the longest time, I couldn’t come to terms with the fact that a person–once breathing and larger than life itself–became nothing.

But I know now.

I know she’s not nothing.

She’s a thousand memories. Some dark, some happy, some very controversial.

Yet she’s still Ava. A little star that wasn’t meant to last long, but she sure as hell shone enough light all around to brighten everyone’s lives.

I’m thinking these thoughts as I sit next to her headstone, my legs stretched out in front of me and buried in a soft blanket of green grass.

The sun is about to set, and I realize I need to leave soon, preferably before the caretaker starts making final rounds. But I haven’t gathered enough courage to ask my sister a question I’ve been wanting to ask her for months now.

I guess I was waiting for the right time and the time is now.

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