Page 33 of Faithful

“Sorta.” I nod and extract my hands from her grasp, rubbing them over my thighs to get rid of the sudden sweat coating my palms. My brain is working overtime as I try to paint a picture of the Pickett family in my head to remember if any of the members are publicly homophobic like Gavin, but no red flags make any appearances. Besides, my aunt has always leaned toward liberal views. Not openly, but still…

“Well, when do I get the pleasure of meeting her?” she says cheerfully.

“Not her,” I say. “Him.”

She pulls in a lungful of air and lets it out slowly and loudly without saying anything for what seems like a full hour while I’m legit freaking out on the inside.

When Amelia speaks next, her voice is void of any kind of emotion. “Do your parents know?”

“Gavin does. He’s known for years. Mom doesn’t.”

My aunt finally drops the act and smiles. “You should tell her, Dylan.”

Relief fills my chest. “I will. I just can’t do it while she’s the way she is now. If you can help her get back on track, it’ll be easier.”It’ll be easier to come clean to her about my unusual attachment to the guy who was with my sister the night she died.

“I will. I promised I’d try.”

“Thanks.”

“There’s no need. You’re family. Besides, I’ve been afraid to face your father for so many years that I forgot that you and your mother are facing him every day. I believe it’s time we change that.”

Yes, I believe it’s time to show Gavin he’s not invincible.

* * *

Of course, my temporary boost of overconfidence (yeah, let’s demonstrate to one of the most powerful men in the country he’s not all that!) fizzles out by the time I get back home.

Leigh is still in her post-breakup ice-cream-eating phase, and I help her finish up the carton she started shortly before my arrival. We come up with some very unsavory words in the process that she immediately applies to Paul.

Schmuncunis my favorite.

“Ehm.” I pretend cough into my fist during a moment of silence we’re sharing while I stalk Kai’s Instagram. “I sorta came out to my aunt today.”

“What?” Leigh snaps out of her brooding state and stares at me from the chair. She’s still avoiding the sofa even though I sanitized it twice.

“Yeah.”

“How did she take it? Is your mom’s side of the family conservative?”

“Not exactly. They’re sort of set in their ways, but not very public about their views. They kinda just prefer to stay away from controversial topics and keep to themselves.” It’s one of the reasons why there’s such a huge divide between my father’s and my mother’s families despite both coming from wealth. “My aunt is cool.” I put my phone away. “I mean she smiled and didn’t try to exorcise the gay out of me.”

“Wow. She really is, huh.”

“Yeah.” I pause for a second and note how Leigh didn’t care to discuss my queerness or analyze the fact that I’m into guys. She just kinda went with it. Nothing changed between us and I’m thankful for it.

As soon as I retreat to my room, the things I heard earlier at Amelia’s flood back. In the privacy of my thoughts, I examine each word that was said, trying to persuade myself my ignorance wasn’t entirely my fault, but the guilt weighs heavily on me.

Ava wasn’t okay and my father knew and did nothing.

I didn’t pay attention either.

Some fucking brother I was.

He’s been abusing you since you were a little boy.

He controlled every single aspect of your life in hopes of making you into something you’re not meant to be.

Eventually, my mind exhausts itself and shuts down, and I fall into an abyss of restless sleep and wake up sometime later to a muffled buzzing coming from the vicinity of my shoulder.

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