Page 23 of Faithful

“Why what?”

“Why would you think that I was joking?”

I swallow past the sudden knot. Swallow again. Try to find my equilibrium. It’s hard with him naked on top of me.

“I don’t know…” I reach for his wrist and brush my fingers against the length of the scar. Kai stays motionless, but his face flinches. “That first time when you… when we were at the construction lot… I got the feeling that you…” For some inexplicable reason, I find it difficult to finish the sentence. The words are there, but they refuse to be put together in the correct order.

“That I what?” Kai asks.

“That you don’t like certain things at certain moments.”

“What things?”

“Like being touched.”

“You’re touching me right now.” He tips his chin down toward his cock nestled next to mine.

“Back then. You didn’t want me to.”

He continues to stare. “I didn’t know you.”

“You knew me enough to suck me off.”

“What’s your point?”

My heart is beating way too fast now. “I don’t know.”

“What’s your point, Dylan?”

Mouth dry, I inhale sharply. Let the air fill my lungs. Exhale. “I’m afraid to do something you won’t like.”

Kai is quiet and I’m thankful for the low light and the background music he put on earlier. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to handle the silence from him this long.

“Then you ask me first,” he says after a while. His expression softens a little.

“I don’t know how. I’ve only been with one other person, and we haven’t really done much.”Is that something you even tell your partner? Does he need to know how many people you’ve had sex with before him?Does Hayden even count?It was so long ago and I was high.

Kai is holding my gaze when he speaks next. “Did you fuck?” It should probably sound crass, but it doesn’t when it comes from his mouth.

“No.” I’m not even certain why I share these things with him, but I do because it seems only fair. He should probably know that I might not meet his expectations. “It wasn’t for real.”

He quirks a brow. “What do you mean?”

“It was just an arrangement. You remember why I’m in the closet, the very back of it, right? I can’t get found out.”

Kai’s face pales. There’s no mistaking it, even in this dim, everchanging flickering light. His complexion goes ashen.

“It was just safer that way. No strings.” I clench my hand around his wrist, afraid he won’t let me touch him anymore. Obviously, my fear is illogical since there’s quite a lot of skin contact between us, some very private body parts involved in this too, and he doesn’t make any attempt to untangle us or to remove himself from me.

“Does it turn you off?” I ask.

“No,” Kai says finally, collecting himself. “Just surprised you’d do something like that.”

“Why?”

“Because”–he leans forward a little and his hair, damp and ruffled, falls across my chest–“you’re smoking hot and could probably get anyone you want with the snap of a finger. But I doubt you know that, Dylan.”

“I don’t think you understand the lengths my father will go to protect his public image.”

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