Page 155 of Faithful

“Deftones?”

Kai inhales sharply, sucking in a lungful of smoke, then says, “Well, if you can appreciate the weird brilliance of Deftones, then you’re not totally hopeless.”

The exact same words he said to me the very first time we took a drive together.

To the bridge.

It’s not the same route tonight but it’s one we’ve done before.

To the abandoned lot.

“I hope not,” I mutter, staring at the road in front of us. Each side is peppered by lights, countless smears against the dark. “I was wondering if you were looking for a boyfriend.”

“I’m not.”

“How come?” I turn to look at him, at his profile, at his hair tousled by the wind that slips inside through the open window.

He puts out the cigarette, then reaches over to grab my hand. “Because I already have one.”

There's a bunch of mushy stuff on the tip of my tongue, and I want to scream it all out so he doesn’t miss a single word, but I say nothing instead.

I just continue to soak in the warmth of his palm and listen to the music until we reach our destination.

It’s freezing out and Kai takes a second to go through the back of the van.

He finally offers what appears to be one of his coats and then leads me toward the secret entry in the fence we used the last time we were here.

We slip inside soundlessly and trek through the empty lot in the direction of the same house.

We go up the same stairs.

Sit on the same blanket Kai keeps handy as if he knows he’ll be back.

He doesn’t talk much, at least at first, and I’m sensing he’s gathering up his courage to tell me something important.

Finally, when it comes, it’s not what I think. He turns his head to look at me and there’s this dead serious look in his eyes and I’m terrified he’s about to dump me again or tell me he’s a vampire for real.

“I’m not blowing you tonight. It’s too cold.”

It hits me then. A joke. He’s telling me a joke.

My anxiety takes a step back and I grin. “I didn’t ask you to blow me.”

Kai turns away and stares at the dark landscape in front of us. “But you’re probably thinking it.”

“How do you know what I’m thinking?”

“Because you’re not that hard to read. Even after all this time you’re still a spoiled rich kid.” He pauses for a moment to light up a cigarette. “You just couldn’t help it with making a scene, could you?”

I catch a hint of mischief in his voice and the next time our eyes meet, he’s smiling. The tendrils of smoke slowly slip from between his lips.

I reach out and snatch his cigarette. “You should really consider what your label tells you and quit.”

“You believe now that you’re my boyfriend officially, you get some say in what bad habits I can have?” Kai tries to get the cigarette back.

“No. I believe that as your boyfriend I get the right to decide just how much harmful shit you’re allowed to consume.”

“Decide?” He quirks a brow and leans forward. “Allow?”

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