Page 141 of Faithful

Heart pounding, I reach out and grab his hand, then step back into his personal space. “So, there was no car, right?”

Kai stills, cigarette long forgotten, eyes dark and wide and beautiful even in panic.

“Remember what you told me about us working out? About not wanting to be with someone in the closet?”

“I also told you that you shouldn’t come out for me but for yourself.”

“Why do you think I’m asking you to be my date?”

He inhales sharply, then steps to the side to put out what’s left of his cigarette in an ashtray sitting on a small table that’s just been vacated.

I remain in my spot in the corner and away from the inquisitive gazes of other patrons. Kai’s beanie is not much of a disguise and I’m positive it’s only a matter of time until someone recognizes him. That means people will see my face too, and it’s possible they’ll put two and two together and the gossip will start spreading tonight, and the splash I plan on making at the gala won’t be as big.

That’s why I gently guide Kai toward the rear exit and outside until we end up in the alley behind the building, the same one where I discovered his scars. Only now our roles are reversed. I’m the one in the lead and he’s the one being led. Then he shoves me against the wall, pressing his body to mine and whispering in my ear, “Why are you doing this? Why are you putting yourself on the line for someone like me?” His palms are flat on my chest, his lips accidentally brushing my skin.

“Because I can. Because I love you. Because I’m tired of hiding. Because I’ll gladly sell myself piece by piece if it’s for you.”

Kai’s breath hitches. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

He pulls back a little, taking the delicious weight of his body away. One of his hands remains on my pectoral and I can feel the heat slipping through the fabric of my sweater and soaking into my flesh. And it’s making me so dizzy, the simplicity of the contact between us and the climb in temperature it causes.

“I’d been living a half-life before I met you,” I tell him, holding his gaze. “Now I want to live a full one and I want it with you. Will you trust me on this? Will you come to the gala? Will you let me show you that I’m not afraid anymore?”

This tiny space between us, this tiny space filled with air, is like an abyss and I make it disappear. I cradle his face in both hands and pull him to me, our lips coming together, and it’s at the perfect angle and with just the right amount of pressure. His taste bursts against my tongue, saturating my mouth with heavy sweetness, and it feels like I’ve finally reached the end of the desert and, there at the edge of it, a glass of the most delicious water is waiting for me, waiting to be relished.

* * *

Kai neither confirms nor denies his attendance.

He simply smiles and tries to steal another kiss as we part ways later that evening.

I said everything that I needed and wanted to say. I showed him all my cards. It’s his turn now. And I don’t know what he’ll do, whether he’ll decide to take the risk and show up or play it safe and leave me to fend for myself in front of my father. Because, let’s be realistic, I can only dodge phone calls from Gavin and his lapdog for so long.

At the gala, we’ll cross paths without a doubt. I’m still expected to play the role of the obedient son. The email I received earlier from Gavin’s PR team said so. Although my father won’t make a scene with other people around, who’s to say he doesn’t have any tricks up his sleeve.

However, as I drive back to my apartment, my common sense tells me that Gavin is out of options. What Heller now has on him is enough to ruin the man for three lifetimes. I just have to remain confident in my own plan.

I also have a few loose ends to tie up before the event. And one of them concerns my mother.

That’s why the following evening, once I get off work, I go straight to the mansion. Julie’s been spying for me a little, and I’m well aware my father isn’t home. After another fruitless attempt to reach me by phone at the crack of dawn, he flew out to Spokane. He’s up for reelection later this year and his PR team has really upped the ante on his public appearances.

What I witness when I arrive is a bunch of boxes scattered all over the living area and a crew of people rushing up and down the stairs carrying some household items.

My mother is overseeing the process. Julie is hovering nearby.

“What’s all this?” I ask as I walk past the mayhem and offer my mother a cheek for a kiss. She smooches me first as if I’m still five, then brushes her thumb over the spot her mouth just touched to erase the traces of her bright red lipstick and explains in a matter-of-fact voice, “Your father and I are getting separated. I’m moving out.”

This announcement that I consider huge renders me speechless. She makes it sound like it’s no big deal. But it is. For a man whose entire career is built on family values, this is the end of the road. His daughter is dead. His son is estranged. His wife is deserting him. How long will he be able to keep up the charade?

Plus I have a couple more moves left.

It all comes down to whether Kai wants to play them with me.

“I didn’t know,” I say dumbly, surveying the boxes and the strangers handling them.

“I didn’t tell you,” my mother explains with a sigh, “because I wasn’t sure myself if it was going to happen.” She wraps her arm around my own and pulls me aside and away from the ruckus. “It’s for the best anyway.”

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