Page 118 of Faithful

If you’re not out of the apartment by sunrise, your mother will get the package too.

“What package?” I ask, my hands suddenly shaking.

Kai’s phone slips from my grip and drops to the floor with a loud clank.

Just then, he picks it up, shoots up to his feet, and dashes back to the bedroom where he begins to grab his clothes.

“What package?” I yell, trailing him across the apartment, naked, blanket forgotten.

“I don’t know what to do,” he mutters, not sounding like himself at all. “Will you just let me think? Okay? I can’t get my mom involved. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”

“What wasn’t supposed to happen?” I grab at his wrist while he’s trying to pull on his T-shirt. “The fuck you talking about?”

Kai wrenches his arm out of my grip and continues to dress, movements mechanical.

“The fuck you talking about!” I say through gritted teeth, losing my nerve and clutching his face with both hands. “Look at me. Look at me!”

He freezes, one sleeve of his coat in, the other still hanging loose. His features are ashen, and the enormity of the situation is finally starting to register.

Gavin…

Gavin has something to do with this.

I squeeze his cheeks harder, holding him right there in front of me, all covered up and ready to leave, and my mind refuses to accept the reality.

“I was going to let you see it,” he murmurs. “Let them show it to you because for whatever reason, I didn’t think you’d give it much thought. You’re just not that kind of person. That’s why I asked you if you really wanted to come out and if you were ready for people to try to keep us apart. But my mother can’t know this, Dylan. She won’t handle it well.”

“You need to give me more than this, Kai.”

He shakes his head and jerks his chin at the window. “Right now, I need to leave. It’s almost dawn.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I ask in horror. “Tell me it’s a joke, Kai! Tell me it’s a joke!”

He doesn’t attempt to free himself from my clutches. He swallows and closes his eyes. “It feels so good, Dylan.” A pause. “Your hands on me.” His voice is velvet rich and soft and quiet. He reaches up and wraps his own hands around my wrists. “And the way you taste or the way you say my name. It feels so damn good, it’s like a fucking brand on my brain. Everything that’s you.”

I’m shaking now, but I can’t tell if it’s because the room is still cold or because of how fatal he sounds. “Will you fucking tell me what’s going on?”

Several long seconds tick by as we stand there under the winter moon that’s about to be replaced by daylight, and I see it then–a single tear falling from the corner of his eye and rolling down his pale cheek until it meets my thumb pressed into his skin.

My heart is screaming internally. “Kai?”

He finally looks at me and I realize his lashes are wet too.

“Are you going to ignore my every question?”

“It just has to be that way, Dylan. I’m sorry.”

A million things race through my mind. “Why?”

“It just has to be…”

“That’s not an answer you give to someone when you two fuck without a condom and say you love each other!” I cry out, shaking him.

“It’s the only one I have right now until I figure out what to do.”

“Fuck you!” I shout. “You fucking selfish jerk! Fuck you!”

“Don’t.” He yanks my hands down and away from his face. “You knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I told you my past was a bitch.”

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