Page 117 of Faithful

“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. “But they sure got lots of photos of you giving them the finger. That should count for something, right?” A nervous laugh leaves me.

“They deserved it.” Kai drops my phone on the bed and moves back to the window to finish his cigarette. “Fucking assholes.”

I’m not yet certain how to feel about the photos of us together leaking to the media. This has ruined my plan of taking the whole coming out business one step at time. Instead, I’m pushed over the edge of the cliff with no safety whatsoever. And the only thing that’s stopping me from freaking the fuck out right now and going all drama and shit is Kai’s presence.

“Do you think I’ll get found out?” I ask, pulling some of the blanket over my shoulders.

He puts out the cigarette in a small sauce dish he probably snatched from the kitchen while I was asleep and returns his gaze to me. “No. They can’t tell by the back of your head alone.”

He stays where he’s at, bathed in the silvery stream of moonlight with the freezing air caressing his inked skin, and I don’t know how he doesn’t feel the cold. “I’m sorry I smoked in your room.” He shuts the window.

“It’s fine. Come here.”

Kai doesn’t move. He keeps staring at me, his eyes suddenly full of secrets, his mouth a straight, tight line, and his frown heavy.

“What’s going on?” I ask nervously.

The moment is suddenly stretching on and I’m starting to feel like he’s about to slip through my fingers.

“Nothing,” Kai finally says and returns to his spot on the bed next to me.

I hug him. “You’ve been a little odd lately.”

He chuckles. “When am I not odd?”

“You make a good point.”

He shifts in my arms, nuzzles my neck, and whispers against my skin, “Hey, are you sure you’re ready to do this? Even if people hate us together and try to separate us?”

“Nobody’s going to separate us,” I say bravely.

* * *

We fall asleep shortly after.

Very vaguely, I remember the sounds of phone buzzing followed by the shifting of the mattress. When I wake up again, it’s still dark outside, but Kai’s no longer by my side. The door to my room is slightly ajar.

Confused, I scoot from the bed, dragging the blanket with me into the hallway.

I sense the doom before I even see it. I sense it with every part of my body as my feet carry me across the apartment and toward the strip of light coming from the bathroom where I find Kai sitting on the floor with his face pressed to his knees. He’s wearing his pants, still unzipped and low on his hips. His phone is clutched in his hand.

“Hey,” I say, pushing the door open and moving to stand in front of him. Blanket is still a cape around my shoulders, but I let it go and crouch to the floor to be able to see Kai’s face.

“I don’t know what to do…” Here, his voice cracks a little. “I don’t know how to make it work. I thought I’d just wing it. I thought I’d just let them talk the talk and have you decide. But my plan is falling apart.”

“What do you mean?”

“Us.” He lifts his face to look at me and his eyes are bloodshot as if he’s been crying. “I mean us.”

“Can you tell me what’s going on?”

“This past that I wanted to keep buried keeps coming at me and I’m not able to do anything about it.”

“I don’t care about your past. I care about today and tomorrow.”

“I’m not allowed to have a tomorrow with you,” he spits out, shoving his phone at me with a message from the unknown number up on the screen.

The hairs on the back of my neck rise as I read the text.

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