Page 15 of Red Hot Harmony

Malik grabbed at my wrist and dragged my hand away from his cheek. Even drunk, he was as strong as a bull. The thick acetone-like smell of alcohol gusted over me when he spoke, “It’s not goddamned gossip, brother.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Shanice. She’s seeing this guy. Some fucking TV show producer.”

I backed away and stood up, my head spun and my chest ached. Earlier, at the restaurant, when Camille ordered a glass of wine, it was different. There was a silent understanding between us. Deep down, I knew that if I tried to get a drink, she wouldn’t let me. Once, Malik had been my safety net too, but not now. Now, he was dragging me under.

I sensed it for the first time since I’d left rehab—the pull substances had on me. I wanted it quietly when it wasn’t available, but I wanted it badly and loudly now that it was within reach. All I had to do was grab that bottle and indulge myself.

Just a sip.

To ease the pain. To forget.

“Sorry, man,” Malik muttered, looking up at me from his spot by the bed. “I just couldn’t do it. I can’t let her go. I don’t know how.”

“Yeah?” I spread my arms. “What about me? We had a fucking deal! You can’t do this shit in my house. You’re supposed to be my fucking rock.”

“I’m sorry.”

He didn’t say anything else and I didn’t have the stomach to be in the same room with him. So I left. I went downstairs and onto the terrace, where Snowflake kept me company while I sucked on a cherry-flavored lollipop, wishing it was a joint, wishing my life had ended that day in the hospital.

I didn’t sleep well and when I woke up the following morning, Malik was gone. I thought that at some point as the sun started its climb across the sky, I heard him walking around outside my door, his hushed voice traveling down the length of the hallway and eventually disappearing in the direction of the stairs.

I took my time getting up and when I finally did, it was nearly lunchtime, and Yanneth had already arrived.

“Is your friend back from his trip?” she asked as I walked into the kitchen.

“Yes. Apparently, he is.” I flopped into a chair, my elbows resting on the table.

Yanneth set a cup of hot tea in front of me. “Are you okay?”

“Ah, could be better,” I told her honestly, fighting a pounding headache.

My chest felt tight, too small for my raging heart and I didn’t know what to do with myself after what I’d witnessed last night.

At times, this whole healthy lifestyle felt like an endless climb to the top of the steepest mountain. One wrong step, and I’d fall and crash to my death. And I’d tripped so many times, my bones were weak and brittle and couldn’t take another slip.

“You remember you’re taking the little one to the doctor on Monday?” Yanneth reminded me.

She loved my dog so much, she’d taken it up upon herself to keep track of all his vet appointments. She’d found a calendar and stuck it on the fridge, circling all the dates that I needed to memorize.

“Do you ever wonder”—I stared at my tea—“why some people reject what’s not to their liking?”

There was a moment of silence, then Yanneth said, “Because they’re blind. They don’t see the beauty in things that are different.”

“Isn’t that sad?”

“It’s very sad,” she agreed.

A littletap, tap, tapsounded from across the kitchen. Snowflake was sniffing his way toward the table where I sat. He circled the chair, nuzzled its leg, and then moved on to my housekeeper’s shoes.

“You wanna go for a drive, buddy?” I asked him, taking a careful sip of my tea.

“He’s scared of cars.” Yanneth shook her head and picked up the pup from the floor.

“He’s gotta get used to it if I have to take him to the vet.”

“You go shower then, and I’ll prepare the bag.”

---